I live alone by choice. I've come to realize again recently, that it makes me less tolerant.
While my Sam has begun "chatting" more since our Dali passed three years ago; she has a sweet, calm little meow that usually means she wants something or just wants to be close to me. Fortunately, the dolls don't talk back. No one at our place on C-Street is loud. I grew up in a family of no yelling, screaming, raised voices, or talking back. Generally, we were a family of calm, quiet civilized conversations. This is not the case in the rest of the world.
I'm finding our world is much LOUDER than it used to be. I've noticed:
English speakers screaming at French people in English. Do you think that helps our French friends understand English any better?;
Friends at the Napoleon House whose voices rise at least 10 decibles and may climb even higher depending on the amount of alcohol they've consumed. Do you think this is attractive?;
Political conversations that are taken to a whole new level of sound that makes me cringe, regardless of whether or not I am of the same belief. Do your think this makes your point any stronger?; and,
Screaming into the cell phone at the other party when you're pissed off or want something you're not getting. Do you think you have a better chance of getting what you want by browbeating the person on the other end?
As if you couldn't tell; I don't like loud. I've tried hard to understand this phenomena. The very best "loud lesson" I got came from an 8th grader at Ferguson Junior High when I was substitute teaching. Everyone tended to come into the classrooms screaming at the start of class. My class had begun and one student came in tardy AND loud. I asked her to take her seat and try to come into class quieter. She said: "I'm not being loud." I said: "Maybe you're not being loud according to your definition of loud, but you are being loud according to mine. We are using my definition." When students were loud in my classes I had them come and sit up by my desk and do their work there. I must say, it worked well.
Heading home on foot or by bike from the Junior High, it hit me. My students probably didn't think they were being loud. This was probably the level of volume that they lived with in their homes every day all year long. It helped me to make some more things make sense. I felt like I understood my students better.
That doesn't mean that I tolerate loud any better in my personal life. I don't surround myself with loud. Not being loud myself, I don't like to have to scream above others to be heard in conversation. So, I find that I stay away from people who are...at least according to MY definition of LOUD!
Wishing everyone a Sunday of peace
and as much quiet as you need according to your definition!