Soar-Dream-France

Best Laid Plans

 

Yesterday's celebration to honor our former Mayor and Administrative Assistant, was set to be held out on the outside terrace of the Mairie.

That provided us with an "outside venue" where we would still mask and socially distance.

Well, as you can see it rained. It's been raining.

 

 

So, after the tree planting ceremony outside from under umbrellas, hoods, and head dresses, everyone was back inside the Salle de Fete for the rest of the ceremony, aperos and nibbles.

 

 

The windows were open for ventilation. Everyone had and wore their masks. We had sanitizer at the door AND plastic gloves in the kitchen. So much makes me so proud to be a part of our village. We care about ourselves. We care about each other. We follow the rules and are careful and caring about those we love. Sometimes, that translates into EVERYONE. Are you feeling that Barney song yet?

 

Our new Maire, Christiane Duponchelle honchoed the event, announcing the new members of our Conseil Municipale, before honoring former Mayor-Jacques Durand and Administrative Assistant-Jacky Gardaix. It was a task completed with class, humor, gratefulness, and love. 

 

For not thinking I'd drink or have anything to eat, one kir turned into 2 and by the time we were finished, there were three empty apero plastic glasses to remind me how many I'd had. It's good for me to use my French. I try. The more I do, the better I am...and after 3 kirs-I speak my very best French possible.

 

Ha-ha...that only means I'm less inhibited and willing to throw caution to the wind and try. Good thing I had some cantelope, mini-pizza pieces, mini-quiche pieces and a tiny fancy dessert-all served on individual plates at the socially distanced tables! 

 

 

Home by 1:30, it was the most social day I've had since my arrival at the beginning of August.

It was wonderful to see everyone.

I had missed them, and it seemed that I was missed too. I love my village. I love my life in Cadrieu!

Cedric and Nadege gave me a ride up and back. I told them that they'd saved my life!

 

Happy Monday!

 

 

Do You Have a Life?

 

I confess that prior to buying the Chatette in 2002 and coming to live here in 2006; I never really gave much thought to having or not having a life.

I'm sure the requirements for feeling like you have a life are different for each one of us.

 

Returning home to Cadrieu after the 2006 holidays, I do remember that I began consciously building a life for Dali, Sam and I in Cadrieu, France during 2007.Interestingly, every time I make a decision to come to France, others question my behavior and elements of this decision.

 

After Katrina, I had friends who told me I'd abandoned them and abandoned New Orleans and we were no longer friends.

 

As I was trying to decide about staying put in the states or returning home to France as planned during this pandemic, that hurt and horror of those times reared their ugly heads again. Call it deja vu or even PTSD; I was concerned and talked about it with friends and family. Everyone said go. As I told people after Katrina:

I refuse to apologize to anyone for taking care of myself.

 

Someone in my family recently mentioned that a friend wondered how I was, now that I was back in France? At first it seemed like a sweet care and concern, but those old feelings returned. The response of my family member said it all:

"Laury, has a life in France!"

 

It's true.

I am home.

I have a life in Cadrieu.

Happy Saturday!

 

Finding Joy

 

Living with this pandemic during the upcoming holiday season, is going to challenge even the best and most optimistic of us.

I know I tried to look for creative ways to be positive this past Easter.

Then, I see the difficulties everyone has when trying to celebrate any special event among families and friends such as birthdays, weddings, and funerals. Trying to get all the pieces of the puzzle to fit AND be in line with masking, distancing, hand-washing, inside vs. outside, and staying away from huge crowds, can be daunting.

 

 

 

Even more so, what if you have to travel to see your family and friends so you can celebrate?

Should you drive? Should you fly? Does your family and/or friends even want company?

And then there is the huge question that looms for many, are you even allowed to travel to where you want to go?

Of course these answers are going to be different for everyone.

 

 

Everything is different. Many of the events and sometimes even simple things that we've looked forward to in the past just can't be done. Or if they can be done, you may not be comfortable doing them anymore or they've become so complicated that they are too much trouble. Sometimes, it feels easier to just surrender. 

 

 

I realize that there can be a luxury for me during this pandemic in being on my own. I've been daily, weekly, monthly and seasonally out of sync. Sometimes, I'm not really sure where I am in any of those time markers and it doesn't matter.

Yesterday, I began to think about the holidays. Living in the Chatette where it feels like Christmas all year long, didn't stop me from thinking about the holidays ahead and what I can do to make them more special. I could surrender or I can find my joy!

 

I chose JOY!

 

Getting ready for fall and winter, I began to clean and rearrange the Chatette.

In the process of sitting in my chair and trying to feel the place, Christmas loomed large.

Even with my manger set and tiny GIFI tree still hanging around, I could see garlands on the monster furniture and bannisters, fireplace decorations, stockings, music boxes, special lights, baking cookies, AND maybe even a bigger tree this year too! I can't forget my special Christmas dinner!

 

 

When I sit on my stairs and look down into the living room, I'm that 6 year old little girl on Christmas morning who didn't have an amazing stair case like this to hide out on and be able to "look down on Christmas!" Christmas morning will start on the staircase for me this year! Even at 66, it is still magical to me.

So, ask yourself: What makes me happy? What soothes my soul? When do I feel my best? What makes me feel good?

 

 

Don't surrender!

 

 

Find your JOY!

Happy Friday!

 

 

All of the photos in this post, were taken in Belgium when I traveled to Brussels and Ghent.

Living Into the Questions

 

Since I've returned home to Cadrieu, there have been many facts to face. Once again in my life, everything feels new and different.

I have talked regularly about doing the "dangle dance," swirling puzzle pieces," and wishing that things would just "settle down."

THE fact is, I don't think that is going to happen in this world these days. The only way it's going to happen is if I am able to do it for myself internally.

I'm working on it.

 

 

 

In the past, I tried to follow Rilke's guidance and learn to "live into the questions," and the answers will come. They did. I am so much better at that these days.

Now, it seems like I need to take it a step further and learn to "live into my life," the same way.

I feel too many shoulds. I often put pressure on myself. I feel like I should be doing more. It just feels like so much more is out of my control these days. Probably, because it is.

So, I've decided to do the things that I must do and live into my life with all the rest.

 

 

 

 

That means, I tend to allow the days to carry me along and I do whatever I feel like doing in the moment. I pay attention to me. That isn't always easy. Believe it or not, sometimes I have to work at paying attention to myself.

After the passing of Ruth Bader Ginsberg last week, my sister wrote and said: "Soothe Yourself!" 

 

I'm still working on it!

Happy Wednesday!

 

 

 

Save Who You Can Save

 

I should warn you that this is a "soapbox" post. I struggled with what photos I had that could make such a serious topic still an interesting post.

Of course, sheep! 

I love these guys. I've teased in previous posts that this looks like a class photo. They were such good posers!

I look at this photo and I would hate to lose a one of them. They may be sheep, but each one is unique in appearance, personality, and temperament. I should probably add intelligence in there too, although it is not a deciding factor for me.

These are good guys.

I'm not quite sure why I subject myself to news from the states first thing when I get up in the morning.

I can see my favorites from the afternoon/night before.

Between the virus, politics, climate change fires and hurricanes; I do feel like I need to keep up from over here so that I am aware of what is happening.

 

 

Some days it is just overwhelming. I stop and read a book instead. Other days, someone says something so profound and heart-wrenching that I hang on every word. 

 

Last week, during a discussion about the virus and the politics vs. science battle, which is really about lies and made up stories vs. facts, we came around once again to the wearing vs. not wearing masks in risky public places.

I am a "masker!" I can't believe that I even have to write this and that there should be any debate on the topic. I was slapped in the face when Michael Steele said:

 

"Save Who You Can Save!"

 

I want to save everyone, but in the current climate in the states that just isn't possible. So what do you do? You do what you can do to save yourself, your family and the people you love. Given the current climate and circumstances, even that can be a very tall order. My virus behavioral comfort level is clearly not the same as others. I can't control what others do or don't do!

But, trust me! MY sheep would be wearing masks!

 

 

And to be honest, I'd have a much better chance of getting a mask on them than I would some of the people I know and have seen.

These guys are so smart that they understand "herd mentality" already, and with their masks...I wouldn't be subjecting them to the concept of "herd immunity!" I love them too much to lose a one!

 

 

Happy Monday!

 

ENOUGH For Whom?

 

As I wrote yesterday's post about Dad and the Lady and the Unicorn, I laughed at myself as I wrote about deciding to buy 5 pillow covers instead of just the original one.

I explained how nice it was to feel like I had "enough!" On my bike ride into Cajarc for groceries, bird feeding accessories and food, I had the chance to further ponder the notion of enough. 

The concept of "enough" is different for everyone, and rests in our values and priorities.

 

 

For me, feeling like I have enough in that moment can be the difference between buying one pillow cover or five, or buying that ribeye at Terranova's instead of hamburger.

I have spent most of my life worrying about money and NOT feeling like I had enough financially.

Feeling that enough, is a luxury for me. 

You can imagine my surprise when after I bought the Chatette, people were saying things like:

 

"You must be rich!"

 

 

 

My response to that has always been, I am not rich in dollars and euros.

I am rich in experiences and gratefulness. 

I believe that when we are grateful for what we have, it is enough.

I also believe that when we are happy and grateful for what we have, what we are supposed to have will eventually finds its way to us.

This is when I recognized that I have a luxurious life!

I'm sharing that luxury here with you today.

 

 

 

 

These photos of "my" luxury began with The Window on the Lot at Wendy's.

That window was only the start of luxury for me.

I am forever grateful to Wendy for sharing it with me back in 1998.

During 2002, I was able to parlay an almost perfect credit rating and an almost paid off Columbus Street to be able to buy the Chatette outright!

It did, however, leave me with a fresh mortgage on Columbus Street.

 

 

 

These days, I have 5 Windows on the Lot and the Lot River is practically right outside my door. 

 

Luxuries for sure!

 

Happy Thursday!

 

 

The Lady and the Unicorn and Dad

 

Today is our Dad's first birthday in heaven. I like to say that it is "the day of his birth" because I don't feel the need to smack a number on it. It will always be the day of his birth! We miss him always.

But, we miss him MORE today!

Interestingly for me, I miss him more from Cadrieu.

 

 

I realized that our 7am his time 2pm my time calls were a huge part of my life here. Hearing his voice and feeling his love for me every day was special. He was a huge part of my life and it enabled me to share my life here with him.

Last fall, I inherited a beautiful Lady and the Unicorn tapestry from Evelyn when she returned to the states in November.

 

I rested it on top of the new monster book case, knowing it would be spectacular with the stone wall as a backdrop. I'd decided that I would buy a tapestry pillow cover for one of my pillows in the living room so it would all be pulled together theme-wise.

I told Dad about it on one of our calls.

He didn't really know the Lady and the Unicorn, so I told him I'd gather some information for him and drop it in the mail so he could see it.

 

As I gathered, I learned a lot myself. I had seen the original tapestries in the Cluny Museum on my first trip to Paris in '92. I thought that there were 5. Turns out there are 6: 5 representing the senses and one entitled: A Mon Seul Desir. It was fun to talk about them with Dad. We figured out that mine was "Smell!" He said: "They are really neat!" I told him that I was going to treat myself to a pillow cover of the tapestry.

 

 

I guess you've figured out by now, I bought more than one.

Last week, I ordered a number of small things that I wanted to round out the Chatette a bit more: a tiny frige for the in between room upstairs, some books, and the tapestry pillow covers.

As I looked at the site again, they were all there! I decided to buy 5 and treat the Chatette and I to more pretty. Had I ordered before the holidays, it would have been just the one.

 

 

I wouldn't have wanted to spend the extra money on something I didn't have to have. But now, with Dad's departure on New Year's Day we were each left with a little money from Mom and Dad.

It's a luxury to be able to feel the "enough" from time to time!

 

 

 

I might be sitting without him on that picnic bench these days, but Dad is everywhere. These memories and his spirit live in those tapestry pillows.

 

No wonder I want to hug them all the time.

 

Happy Birthday, Dad! 

 

Happy Wednesday!

 

 

 

DANGER: Overshadowed, Overlooked or Ignored

 

Fifteen years ago now, Dali and I were in St. Louis. Tom and Adrianne had already evacuated north with Dali, because I was in Cadrieu when Katrina hit. I flew back mid-September. In this shot, Tom and Adrianne were getting ready to head back to New Orleans since their zip code had been cleared to be safe to return to the City. This was October.

This was the first time in my life, at 51 years old, when I personally experienced that our government does NOT care about "all" of us.

Today, it would be "any" of us.

 

 

 

Already then red vs. blue states, and always, the color of your skin; impacted the quality of help you got, if you got any at all. 

I then watched in Ferguson in 2014. The Missouri National Guard was NOT sent to protect Ferguson and Dellwood shops and businesses, but were instead at the County Government Offices in Clayton-with nothing to do there except stand around and be ready to protect all those rich, white people, even though they were needed badly elsewhere!

Ferguson and Dellwood

were burning!

 

 

All of this, while law enforcement vehicles were lined up on Elizabeth Avenue in front of our family home AND low flying choppers were hovering overhead and beaming search lights everywhere!

And, here we are today with a very active hurricane season that has already decimated Lake Charles and now we have Hurricane Sally shooting straight for New Orleans.

There are "climate change fires" all up and down the length of the California coast and now Oregon.

 

Not to mention, the Corona Virus that has been left unchecked by this federal administration to rapidly engulf the United States.

 

 

The University of Washington now projects that we will reach 400,000 deaths by January 1, 2021.

That means between now and then, we will have doubled the number of Americans who have died.

These are individual souls. What about their families? What about their friends? What number would you multiply that 400,000 by-4, 10, 25, or more? 

STOP!-PLEASE!

Wake up!

Pay Attention!

 

 

Think back to all that has happened and ask yourself: 

 

Is the cavalry coming? 

 

Let's face it: we are on our own!

 

Dreaming!

 

 

When I dream, it is usually about this magical place along the Lot.

Sometimes it's about family/friends, pets, lost loves or loved ones who have crossed over.

I particularly enjoy those visits from the other side!

 

 

 

If dreaming about something is a measure of love and importance, then I have a new thing to add to my list.

The other night I actually had a "mask" dream!

I should say that I have many masks, but I do have a favorite.

Believe me, during that 30 plus hour voyage between New Orleans and here...I used every one of them.

 

 

 

Here I was, dreaming about a big party full of people. The people were in black and white, but the masks were in color.

I see this guy who has my favorite mask on. I look at him. He tells me how much he loves it. I'm wondering if he had stolen mine, even though it should have been on my face.

I tried to remember where I'd left my mask in the Chatette.

On the cusp of waking up, I noticed that:

EVERYONE

was wearing my favorite mask! 

 

I'm sure this must mean something.

I woke thinking about how much my masks have become a part of my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How about you?

 

 

Happy Saturday!

 

Where Am I?

 

 

During these strange times, I am often not sure where I am.

Oh, I know I'm physically at the Chatette in Cadrieu, France.

All I have to do is look up the road at this golden tree on my way into Cajarc, and I know fall is on the way, if not here already.

I love this shot.

I took it during October of 2012 as I was closing up the Chatette so Dali, Sam and I could be ready in the morning for Evelyn to drive us to Blagnac, in Toulouse. We were returning to the states. Cadrieu-Toulouse-Atlanta-St. Louis.

 

 

So much has happened since then. Now, I am here on my own. No Dali or Sam. No regular calls to Dad at 7am his time, 2pm mine.

I confess, sometimes I don't know what day it is. Sometimes I'm not sure what season it is.

So much feels so different.

The other day, I was thinking the village fetes should be happening soon! No-they happen in summer. This is fall. I missed them this year because I wasn't here.

 

 

 

Actually, everyone missed them this year because they didn't happen with the virus.

 

 

I have to remind myself to be good to myself sometimes. We are all in uncharted territory with the virus. As we know, sometimes things change from moment to moment. I admit, that it doesn't happen so fast and furiously from over here. I have the luxury of being here and not in the states. So what, if I'm looking forward to fetes that didn't happen and picking up the pieces of eight months gone instead of only the planned three.

 

 

 

I am here, happy, and living la vie en rose, even if we are all coping with the virus and the many restraints and ways it has changed all of our lives.

I can still sit on my fireplace in my overalls!

 

Happy Friday!