Since posting my "Love-Ya" awards yesterday, I'm ready to write about the issue that continually blocked my path to making my awards sooner. Every time I went to write my "Love-Ya" piece, I was reminded that there were friendships in my past of 20 to 30 plus years that were no more. I believed that these people were friends. The really scary part was that I considered some of them "chosen family". I have always been the kind of friend who is there for the people I love. I am an extender. I reach out and I have always been the one to go more than half way. Whether you lost everything, flooded but were still standing, flooded just a little, or still lived in your place exactly the way it was before the levees broke...everyone lost. We lost the old New Orleans. In the midst of the devastation, we all tried to find our way the best that we could and figure out what the New New Orleans was going to be for us. I grasped at semblances of normalcy that were impossible to reach with boulders and roadblocks thrown in your way at every turn. No one can know what went on for others. I would guess that I must have done something or not done something to get some of the reactions I got from people over the last five years who used to be my friends. Although the details have now become unimportant, the recurring themes were abandoning friends, abandoning New Orleans, and choosing France.
I knew I had to go to save myself. I apologize to no one for taking care of us. I'd realized even before the storm, that not everyone can come along as our lives change. I continue to have a wealth, depth and breadth of friends in the states and all over the world. I hope that I can continue to be the kind of friend who loves, gives, doesn't judge and can be happy for my friends when they have opportunities and options in their lives that are best for them.
To all those wonderful friends who have been able to come along with me on this journey, I'm glad you did. You know who you are. All three of these photos were taken in City Park in New Orleans before the storm. I loved discovering the lone fisherman in the morning as the mist captured him and the sun painted clouds on the lagoon. "Madam Matin" was an old friend and always one of my morning favorites on my walk.
The lady in the Chatette thanks you with tears in her eyes, Arabella. I don't know if you realize it or not, but I was just thinking that you were the only one out of all of those wonderful young social workers who crossed my path who was my student, my employee, and my supervisee. You are truly a blessing in my life-Love and Merci-Laury
Posted by: Laury Bourgeois | January 20, 2010 at 05:59 AM
Dear friend, New Orleans will always be that part of you that nurtured your ability and desire to "extend yourself" to others on your "journey". I often use you as an example when speaking to friends and co workers who seem stuck, afraid, anxious, _____ (fill in the blank) and I marvel at how we squander those moments but I also recognize the fundamental fear. It's not change we fear but the loss that comes with it, and there's no way to avoid losses as you have demonstrated and yet transcended. That's the part I like to share. So as I say, "let me tell you the story of my dear friend and mentor who I refer to as the lady in the chatette......"
Posted by: Arabella | January 20, 2010 at 01:04 AM
As I guess you can probably tell, I'm still working on the "letting go" part. But, the Chatette and our life here has been an amazing life raft for Dal, Sam and I. We are moving-maybe not totally moving on-But-we are moving!
Posted by: Laury Bourgeois | January 19, 2010 at 02:14 PM
I love how different the light is in all three photos...kind of like friends...all different, all with their own special 'light' for your life. After spending time with you and hearing the 'storm stories' I feel as if I have a little better understanding of what Katrina did to NOLA and the lives of everyone who lived and loved there. I think those of us who haven't suffered some kind of trauma..natural or un-natural...don't realize that you don't just pick up and move on with life as usual. Things change, people change. It's hard to let go of the 'before' so you can fully embrace the 'after.'
Posted by: Evelyn Jackson | January 19, 2010 at 01:41 PM