As much as this is the one thing I'm most grateful for on this trip to the states; it is the most difficult to write. At the onset of disaster recovery, everyone said: "It will take at least five years." I thought that was for the City. I didn't think it would be for me too. I've learned a lot about myself on this recovery path that I'll share another time, but here are the things that made this my first positive return to New Orleans in five years:
First and foremost, was having Gaynell living on Columbus Street. In all the years that Gaynell house sat for me while I traveled to France, I returned to a happy Dali and Sam (not forgetting Hazel, PJ, Bijou and Stinky who are no longer with us) and a Columbus Street that was always in better shape than when I left. I was in France when the levees broke. The reasons I didn't lose more were, that I tried to be prepared and Gaynell took such good care of getting everything in the best places for all eventualities. I wasn't sure what I would find this visit, but Gaynell had done everything she could to make it as much like home as possible for me. She hung my social work license and my Tulane diploma up in what used to be the living room and put my old bedding on the bed along with my pillow from Mike and Drew (or Michel and André) that says: "My Other House is in France." I cried when I came through the door-but that spaghetti waiting for me made me smile. I'm so happy Gaynell is there, for a lot of reasons. But, the bottom line is that it's good for both of us.
I took my coffee out one of the mornings that Gaynell was in Baton Rouge and sat in the dark in these plastic Adirondack chairs. I looked at my house and garden now, and just cried. No matter how often my property manager told me:"think of it as a nice piece of rental property", or the mortgage company calls it "an investment property" when they refuse to refinance for me...Columbus Street was my home for almost 30 years. I don't think I'll ever be able to think of Columbus Street in just those terms. Renting the apartment and having Gaynell in the big house has worked out well. I've sat in that back yard and screamed and cried tears of frustration. I've sat in that back yard and screamed and cried tears of anger. These tears were different-These were tears of sadness. This is the first time in five years I've been able to cry those necessary tears of sadness, to continue to work through the huge loss this has been in my life. I should know this, but it was easier to be angry than sad.
Thursday morning I headed over to Stew and Eric's to visit a bit. I had errands to run on the bike and they lived on my way, so I called ahead to say I was coming. One of my main chores was to hit Home Depot for a few things for the house and Rouses for some things for the wine and cheese Friday night. In no time, Stew threw me into their big navy blue Cadillac and we were off for a morning of shopping together and an afternoon of burgers and Bruno. On the way back to their house after unloading the groceries at mine, I was relaying my tears of sadness story to Stew. He turned to me and said: "Laury, your house has served a purpose." I told him he was right, but then he went on: "Think about it Laury-it's still serving a purpose."
And so, I'm grateful for finding some peace in New Orleans and discovering a formula for successful visits! HUGE MERCI!
You're welcome Anne-I think this was the first New Orleans trip that it actually made sense to me!
Posted by: Laury Bourgeois | July 16, 2010 at 05:15 PM
Thank you Laury, sorry that you had to explain it to me .. yes makes lots and lots of sense now, and yes a winning formula for more successful visits to New Orleans :-)
Posted by: anne | July 16, 2010 at 02:34 PM
Hey Anne-let's see...angry and frustrated on every visit to Columbus Street since 2005 from the hurricane/levee breaks and having problems every subsequent trip. This trip I was sad when I sat there because I looked at my house...my house now...and felt the huge loss and sadness of losing my home as I knew it before the storm, but accepting that this is Columbus Street NOW. Hope that makes sense.
Posted by: Laury Bourgeois | July 16, 2010 at 01:10 PM
I did leave a message but it has disappeared :-( why were you angry and sad, I have read the post twice, I must be a bit dumb .. I love the beautiful French cushion , very cute. ♥
Posted by: anne | July 16, 2010 at 11:12 AM
I won't say anything here except read my email.
Posted by: Evelyn | July 15, 2010 at 03:16 PM