Soar-Dream-France

Perfection in Place

This burgundy-colored, double geranium looked like it was on its last leg when I picked it up earlier in the season...on it's way to the cemetery for dead geraniums. It looked a little lonely and forlorn, but called my name and came home with me-saved from the cemetery for dead geraniums.

The dark color is lush and beautiful, but gets sucked up into most locations and goes un-noticed. It has lived in just about every spot imagineable from the lavoir, to the barn loft, to the middle of the terrace but has now found a home resting on the end of the terrace near the porch swing. It has doubled in size and leaf volume and the flowers...prolific.

I took it down the other day to dead head the flowers and make a few sketches. Petals showered onto the stone and just looked so pretty. There's something about their sweet, soft beauty against rough, sturdy stone.

As we approach the vernissage on Friday, I've been searching for something to hang from the beam in the atrium of the Chatette that will be beautiful and dramatic. It's not a good long term spot because it requires dangling over the staircase for watering, and then if not very very careful my desk and computer get watered as well. I expect sometime on Friday, it too will be suspended in a place of honor for the vernissage...my ugly duckling turned swan!

Lights and Tunnels

Going off to work short term contracts for a couple of months here or there over the last few years, meant that there was always a light at the end of that tunnel. It's an expression I've used frequently without really giving it much thought in the grander scheme of things...that light at the end of the tunnel of our lives. We're all on that road, but lately I've been asking myself if this "light at the end of the tunnel" stuff doesn't take the focus away from being in the NOW and present in the moment?

I actually have a tunnel here. I'm blessed when the morning sun pours into my tunnel. I've learned over the years of here, that there is a moment when the sunshine perfectly matches the center of the archway in the back of my tunnel. I passed by in a perfect moment the other morning. The moment moved so fast, that even in the time it took me to get my camera...it was gone. But, I stood on the road, sat on the ledge (in my overalls of course), closed my eyes, and soaked up the light of more moments. My tunnel is light.

 

Let's Make a Deal...

...Door Number One, Door Number Two or Door Number Three? You have a choice. But there's no way to know what's on the other side. Intensely talking through the circumstances of my life with friends and family these past few weeks, CHOICE has been the recurring theme. I do have a choice and I've been fortunate to have more than three options to choose from. Unlike the old television show Let's Make a Deal, I do have some idea what lies behind each door even if there's no way to know how all those elements will mélange for us.

I'm way ahead in this game of doors. I have a very special set. I already know what's behind these and I know that our place will be mélange-ing our magic behind them to be ready for return.

Defining the Difference

Having made the decision to return to the states to be able to work AND be with Dali, it's been interesting to see how my mind works. It's difficult not to compare our coming here in 2006 to our going to New Orleans in 2012. Coming here saved us. We are more because of our time here. Here is home. When we came here in May of 2006, we weren't sure what we were going to do. By November, everything was out of Columbus Street-most of it, like my stuffed animals up there: Free to a Good Home! 

It's different now. We are settled here. Everything stays as is and ready for our returns. During the ten years that the Chatette has been in our lives, I've searched for ways to bridge two places I love-here and New Orleans. Even though my ultimate goal is to sell Columbus Street, I feel excitement and opportunity in our future regardless of the outcome.

 

So in this time between now and departure, I find myself touching and loving this place. It lives and breathes in me. People are always asking me: "What are you going to do if, what are you going to do when...?" I just say: "I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing until I can't do it anymore and then I'll do something different." It gets me to the visual of my little girl self just blowng them the raspberries and saying "So there!"

Flowers for Focus...Candles to Center

With summer coming to a close and big decisions made, a lot of reflecting has set in. As much as the light centers me, I realized that I rarely light my candles during the summer season. It's light till 10pm and some mornings the sun is already up by five! I've discovered that it's my flowers that focus me in the summer, and my candles that center me in the fall and winter! Look closely at that wine bottle in the picture.

A friend I'd met on the bus came for dinner recently and told me he had a special bottle of wine for the evening. He too, is "sans voiture" as we say...so coordinating dinner and buses can be interesting. I'd told him Cahors wine was my favorite. He didn't disappoint me. Then, when I looked at the bottle...Château Laury...Mon Dieu! Upon closer inspection, he had added the "Y" on to the end of Château Laur! How sweet and so much fun. Who knows, maybe there is a Château Laury out there somewhere. But, I'd bet mine is one of a kind. Here's to meeting nice people on the bus from all over the world!

 

Grabbed in Cajarc

 

I've passed by this spot in Cajarc many times. The first time, I didn't have my camera. With summer comes hoards of tourists and Africajarc, so that even with my camera and intention to stop...it just never happened. But then the other day, all systems were go.

I love the way this creeper frames and silhouettes the house, windows, balcony, and bench. As much as I wanted to sit down on the bench and rest a bit in the shade from the heat of my bike ride, I kept on moving. I had an ice-cream and another bench in mind.

Landing

The barn and I have been communicating here from the word go. The energy swirls, and everything in the place moves me. Last summer, as I was trying to decide if I should put Columbus Street on the market to sell the barn said: "If you sell Columbus Street I can be MORE." I took those English words and twisted and turned them around in my feeble mind. The MORE I saw and felt was the new roof, water, electric, and things that money could provide to make the barn MORE. Columbus Street went on the market to sell last year. It was too much of a roller coaster for me from France and while I was working in Holland. I eventually decided to market it to sell and/or lease and go with whatever happened first-the apartment rented in May but still no house rental.

The reality of running out of money has been looming since then. With each month that passed, I knew decisions would have to be made at some point. Although I can work in Europe, I am unable to work and have Dali with me. As she is aging, she is having some trouble seeing, hearing and is sometimes confused...we need to be together. The best place for me to be able to work AND for us to be together is in New Orleans. There is also something else swirling out there...some other reason or reasons that feel important for us to be back in the states now. I don't know what it is. I'll know it when I see it, but we'll be in New Orleans taking it all a step at a time and feeling our way. We are shooting for a mid to end of October return.

Having made my decision, I'd gone up to the loft of the barn to water my beautiful flowers. I emptied my small, green watering can, threw it down, and went to sit on the ledge so I could descend my ladder. I sat a bit, dangled my legs through the hole, closed my eyes, felt our place, and remembered last year's message: "If you sell Columbus Street I can be MORE." It's not like this message was in French, but the light went on and I saw that MORE clearly for the first time. It's not the money. It's not the roof, the water, the electric or any of those things. The barn will be MORE when I am truly present 100%-in spirit.

So, I have a plan for now into the new year. Some things I can put into place from here...refinancing Columbus Street, exploring work opportunities, setting up workshops for early winter, reconnecting, and then sorting myself out to be in between two places until all my pieces fit. There's no way to be totally sure how all of this will go, but one thing is certain...there will come a time when WE will be MORE with LESS!

Falling

We're not there yet, but I'm feeling fall today. With the vernissage so close, followed by birthdays, friends from Norway, a possible workshop offering here, and friends from the states right up into October; I'm just trying to keep it all straight. I remind myself to take it all a step at a time. But for now, I'm feeling the gentleness of fall in favorite photos: a lolling and undisturbed Lot, the waning color of the leaves, an empty riverfront, resting boats, and brilliant reflections of the summer's life, love and energy.

Summers Come and Summers Go

As summers go, this one has been relatively "tranquille"...a little partying and a lot of work. It is also always a time for me of waiting and wondering. The last few summers I was wondering about work contracts...that came. This summer I've been wondering whether the big house on Columbus Street would lease soon enough that I wouldn't use all of my savings.

Summer is almost over and it's decision time for me. Weighing in on all of my considerations...work, expenses, Dali, Sam, support systems, professional contacts, and adding yet a third location to my repertoire; I'm evaluating my options and am very close to making a decision. I'm very tired of this dangle dance. I don't know if I'll ever feel settled again in my life, but I continue to search for those feelings. I've promised myself that I will make a number of important decisions on Monday. I'm very close...so stay tuned.

My friend Ron Mancoske took the top photo during his summer 2009 visit-while we were picnicing on a nearby bridge between two farmer's fields. It makes no difference if we're in New Orleans or Cadrieu...we always have a wonderful time!

Terrace Lunching by Heart

 

How can you NOT love that face? After a hot and strenuous morning of gardening, weeding, and generally working on clearing parts of the land again; Dali and I headed to the terrace together for lunch.

 

 

 

We were not alone. Our birdie birds dropped by and hung around on their bird balls, while the rest of us munched on green gage plums, tomatoes, cheese, and some green mint iced tea for the very dry and thirsty person. It's not shrimp, but I've discovered that Dali loves these green gages as much as I do. (Jean seems to have an unlimited supply at the moment.)They are better than candy, if a little gooey and sticky. She hasn't developed a taste for tomatoes...yet. Just when I thought our lunching couldn't ooze one more ounce of this la vie en rose, my tomatoes showed me that there's always MORE! Wishing you a life of lunching la vie en rose!