Over the last three years, Sammie cat and I spent our 2014 fall four-month stint and many other visits at 411 North Elizabeth. After going out for dinner together, a friend from high school came back to the house with me. When she came out of the bathroom she said: "It's as if your parents just walked out and left everything as it is." And, she was right.
Mom and Dad moved to assisted living at Hidden Lake during February of 2013. Mom never believed they were staying. She was going home. Almost three years later, Mom and Dad decided that it was time to put the house on the market for sale. Shortly after Thanksgiving, there was an Estate Sale. Just this week, there was an auction and a final clearing of the contents of the house.
I'd taken photos inside and around 411 while I was there. Each trip, it felt like "gone" was impending. Each trip has been sad, no matter how hard we all tried to do our best. And for Kat who has been there all the time, it seems an unending sadness. (Auntie Anne's Pretzels and retail therapy at the Galleria can only take us so far.)
It's not easy to write about 411 being gone. My family has a 40 year history in this Century Home in Ferguson. But I realize: it's much easier to write about the house than it is to write about Mom. This was Mom's kingdom.
I'm here on Columbus Street after the Christmas trip up, sleeping on the bedding that had been in Mom's room. There are just some things it didn't feel right to sell. I was limited in what I could bring south in the rental car, but bedding; photos; family china; childhood memories; and surprisingly, much more made it back to New Orleans with me.
Mom began having trouble during my Christmas visit. There were many times that I felt that she had gone away. She wasn't there. She was somewhere else. She seemed to be letting go. Mom's letting go continues. She seems to be ready to move on.
I just don't know about me.
Thanks for your wisdom, Niels. Although I do write a lot about the "place" here...there are many layers and it really is about that person: Mom. Strange times-Heading north again over Mardi Gras. I'll keep you posted. Love and hugs to you and Bodil-Laury and Sammie Cat
Posted by: Laury Bourgeois | January 23, 2016 at 07:57 PM
It is difficult. We have struggled with both my parents and Bodil's, but I try to follow what my parents were good at no matter how hard the situation was, saying: well, now we are here, what next ? after my father went bankrupt with his big farm and had to accept to live on a very small farm owned by his sons, (me and my two brothers) and struggling with heart problems, he did as he did when he struggled to become a farmer in Canada in the early 1930ties, he said: well, now, let's make a new plan ! just as my mother's parents did, when they lost their farm in 1928 and moved from farm to farm, struggling with keeping their dignity in place, but they did even in very small apartments ! I'm not at all saying it was and is easy, understand you very well indeed, but it helps to see life as something with people and not so much about places, love Niels
Posted by: Niels | January 23, 2016 at 07:48 PM
I struggle with all of this myself, Larry. Maybe it's just getting to the acceptance of what is!
Posted by: Laury Bourgeois | January 23, 2016 at 02:37 PM
I don't believe we ever completely move on...or let go.
Posted by: larry graham | January 23, 2016 at 02:30 PM