...without Moms is poignant for so many reasons. We miss them. We hold them close. We cherish the memories and accept that there is a huge hole in our hearts that can never be filled during the holidays in quite the same way again. I miss my Mom. I am not the only one facing this first this season. Sending out lots of love and hugs to my many many friends for whom this is true this particular Christmas, and to all the rest whose Mom is gone but lives on in their hearts in very special ways every holiday season and every day.
It was a dinner I had planned to have ever since my return from Cadrieu this summer. Has it really only been a little more than three months since I was last home? Better yet, is it really only about that same amount of time before Sammie Cat and I will be home again?
The answer to both of those questions is a resounding:YES!
This gang of family by any definition, is the reason I'm planning on returns of extended time that allow me the luxury of doing just these kinds of things...quality time with those I love.
As important as it is to me to be home in Cadrieu with my Sammie cat; is as important as it is to me to not be dropping in for two weeks here or there, having some open house crowd event, and heading home.
A stay of months on Columbus Street gives me that quality time to: milk the wine box over on Dupre Street with Eric, Stew, Louie Boy and Sweetie; have an extended sleepover at Mahogany Oaks with John and Mike; shop at the Salvage Liquor Store with Mike and Carmen; invite Tom and Adrianne over for dinner; and, wander in the neighborhood and through City Park to soak up what makes New Orleans New Orleans for me.
But as you can see, New Orleans is my people.
Special thanks to Eric and Stew for getting the shots of all of us together. Treasured moments for sure!
What is it about a pack of happily resting seagulls and sandpipers that requires disruption? I was enjoying walking right along with them and chatting a bit. All of a sudden some pudgy boy comes flying up behind us and runs right into our midst. I had no where to fly off to! I stopped and watched him continue his hassling all the way down the beach.
But in the midst of all this bad boy hassling, there was a gift for me.
...beautiful silhouettes of Mom and son appreciating the guys together.
When Marina and I arrived at Daytona Beach, these were the views that greeted us. The Seagulls, Sandpipers and Pelicans were stunning. I am rarely on the Atlantic Coast, so this was a real treat for me; even if Pensacola on the gulf coast will always be my first beach love.
I quickly became "out of bird control"!
Mon Dieu! Not only did you get birds, but you got bird shadows and bird reflections. I was in beach bird heaven!
Initially, the ocean provided the color back drop for the photos where down the beach provided photos that looked more black and white.
The sandpipers and pelicans were out...
...but the shot of this last little guy was my all time favorite.
Every single one of us deals with the loss of a loved one differently. We search for answers to make sense of the senseless...to understand something that is not understandable; but, it is up to us to find our personal peace and move on forever changed.
I believe that violent, senseless, sudden death is the most difficult of all.
As Sherry and Glenn and I readied to go to the cemetery to keep my date with Vann, a loving undercurrent was strong. I hadn't known that Glenn and Vann were friends before Glenn met and married Sherry. To be with two people who loved him so much made this visit even more special for me. The love, hugs, tears, stories shared, and the trials and tribulations of the aftermath of such a senseless homicide; put everything into perspective for me once more.
And then, there were the beers. We popped them open, shared a toast and tears, and then I asked Glenn and Sherry to give me a few moments alone. I kneeled down. I wanted to be closer. My eyes were already sparkling. We had our chat. I had my moment. We felt stars!
I've discovered that I'm good at making the most of very short times on my travels. Whether it's Paris, Sewanee, Highpoint or Daytona Beach; all have been stock full visits for me. It helps when the people you're visiting make it easy for you. That was exactly the case with Sherry and Glenn on my Highpoint leg of my road trip.
Even though I was there on a mission, it didn't mean that we couldn't have fun along the way. We toured Winston-Salem by car, wandered Old Salem on foot, had lunch at the Tavern, saw the sights and enjoyed the shops.
It was beautiful and historic, but the company was the best.
It was a late fall in the country. There was beauty, color, great conversation, sharing, romance and newfound friendship everywhere. Although I've often said that Vann and I were very different people; I found lots in common with Sherry and Glenn. That, was a fun discovery for me.
We'd planned to make what I thought was our last stop of the day, after our wander in Old Salem. We headed to Trader Joe's so I could get the sunflowers I was looking for, and then we were off.
Enjoy a little more of Old Salem. I'll be back with more tomorrow.
Although I have always been a person for whom cemetery visits to family and friends are not necessary; it was something that was always very important to my Mom. She was on the list for my last roadtrip, even though I always carry her with me. Then there was my friend and love, Vann Yates. When Vann was brutally and senselessly murdered in his backyard in rural North Carolina during 2015; it was impossible for me to get to the services. I had promised him by phone back in December of 2014 that "we'd lay eyes on each other again one of these days". This trip, I did.
After my last visit with Dad, I stopped at Geraldine's Florist in Ferguson to scoop up something pretty for Mom. They had done the flowers for Mom's service and I knew I could get something there that she would love
There in the cooler-SUNFLOWERS! Geraldine herself was wonderful-for $6.25 I had a beautiful sunflower bouquet with greens, a card and ribbon. It was important for many reasons, but you can also see that they have to be laid at the bottom of a row since her spot is so high. We visited until I headed on, knowing that there would be another sunflower stop on my road.
Ever since that fateful day at the end of January 2015, I've promised myself that I would find a way to get to North Carolina and keep my promise to Vann.
Fortunately, Sherry White (his cousin) and I became friends on Facebook and have been in touch ever since. She and her husband Glenn offered for me to come and stay with them on this trip and we'd make the Vann Visit together.
As you can imagine, this was a very different kind of visit.
We spent most of the first night together getting to know each other much better in a face-to-face kind of way. I learned a lot on many levels, while...
The misty morning vistas and the color on the way from Sewanee, TN to Highpoint, NC were some of the most stunning I've seen in a long time.
I've often said that this area of the USA feels most like home in my Cadrieu spot in France.
Both, take my breath away.
Passing through this stunning, breath-taking countryside became poignant and heart-breaking once I got back to New Orleans and realized that I had just been in this area that had been ravaged by forest fires. Once again, human error and/or carelessness victimized many and left many homeless.
After our morning dog walk with the family, Kate and I set off on our own to share the beauty of the area. I had actually been to Sewanee many years ago-back in '77 while I was in graduate school here at Tulane. We started up at Green's View, which was breathtaking...but not as easy to capture as I'd hoped.
As we were heading on to our next stop at the All Saints Chapel on the Sewanee Campus, I had to have just one more shot.
The chapel and its dancing light were stunning.
I'd told Kate my story about coming to Sewanee Tennesse during Easter of 1977. The guy I was seeing at the time was driving home for Easter with his sister and her boyfriend and invited me along. Almost 40 year old memories were stirred, et voila...there in the chapel was a memorial plaque to Sid's father.
As you can see, Professor Turlington was quite accomplished. I'd forgotten that he'd passed so quickly after our meeting. I remember him as a very sweet and charming man. I wonder where Sid is today?
We wandered around and then out to the cemetery in the back where we found crosses and color...
..before we were on to our next stops-
-this huge cross with a panoramic view, and a gorgeous natural stone bridge in the mountains.
What better way for friends to catch up than with drives and strolls through the beautiful Tennessee countryside on Thanksgiving Day.
When I think of all I have to be grateful for in this life of mine, family and friends top the list. Profound experiences shared strengthen those bonds. I'd promised myself that there were certain people I had to see before I left for Cadrieu in the spring...Kate, Chloe and Clare were that first stop.
There are so many stories and memories to share with Kate and her sweet family that made us stronger in our friendship, but I realized that this was a tour of "moving on" for all of us. In that moving on, we are stronger.
I couldn't have asked for a more perfect visit. I was able to enjoy: Kate the girls, and the 4-legged children; Kate's folks and their 4-legged children; and, the rest of the extended family. But, the best part was the time that Kate had set aside for just the two of us to catch up over morning coffee and biscotti and to show me around to all the Sewanee sights.
As I get older, I've come to realize the importance of quality one on one time that you really have to grab while you can...with everyone.
We walked the dogs and enjoyed fall.
I discovered some old friends from my life on Columbus Street before the storm.
I fell in love with:
Zane of the wanderlust;
playful, puppy Pomeroy; and,
sweet, sage Bea!
It was important to me to lay eyes on Kate again.
It was important to me to see her and her sweet family in their new life away from what we shared in New Orleans.
It was important to me to see the home she had designed and built on the lake across from her parents home.
I loved seeing it in the "flesh", since she'd shown me her 3-D architectural plans before she and the girls moved to Sewanee.
Within, there lies a peace, beauty and support that we all search for in our own way. None of us finds it on quite the same path.