Leaving Cadrieu in the midst of a transportation strike in December was very stressful. Plus, there is so much that needs to be done to be ready to be gone for an extended period of time in the winter. It isn't unusual to plan to take something and then forget it.
Last December, I left this tiny red heart on a chain that rests on this lamp. I had worn it all the time after Dad gave it to me at Christmas one year I think Kat and I both got a package of necklaces that included the heart along with one with a charm on a chain for each of the major holidays.
I had taken it off before the fire and lost it.
When the chimney sweep came last year he found it for me. I was thrilled and hung it from the switch on the lamp so I'd always know where it was. I'd planned to take it to the states with me.
First, because I like wearing it, and second, because I wanted to have it with me to be part of a family ritual if need be. You see, when Mom passed we each took something of ourselves and put it in a cloth bag in the casket with her. I left Mom with my baby bracelet that had my name on it. I'd planned to leave my heart with Dad.
When Yves picked me up to go to the train station, I saw it sitting there since the lamp is near the front door. I thought I heard it say, "Don't forget to take me along!" I looked at it a moment longer and then didn't. I remember thinking, surely I won't need it.
When Jane brought me home from the train station last week, there it was again...waiting for me on the lamp near the front door. There was Dad's heart! It pulled me up for a moment. I wished I'd had it with me to put in the bag with Dad, but I had a beautiful angel bookmark he had also given me that went with him instead.
Maybe it was meant to be this way.
I know I have Dad's heart always.
But, this sweet little charm on a chain reminds me of Dad every time I look at it and I know he is with me!
Missing you and loving you Dad...but feeling you here always.
Happy Tuesday!
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