Soar-Dream-France

There is a Reason

 

The last time I blogged, I wrote about putting things off and then finally getting around to doing it. After finishing my application for residency the other day, it dawned on me that I am being too hard on myself because there usually is a reason.

 

 

Sometimes it's a good reason, or at the very least, a reason that feels HUGE!

 

And so, the light bulb went off yesterday! Still raining and feeling blue; I was immobilized. I did remember that actually applying for residency still feels like a very big step for me. I'd felt the same way when I applied for my Assurance Maladie (health insurance) back in 2007. I had all the paperwork done and had just taken it to the Post Office to be mailed. Jean had taken me into Cajarc to get it taken care of.

 

I told her how strange I felt doing it. It felt like a major milestone in my life and reflected my choices.

I was so grateful to be with Jean that day. Having dual citizenship didn't require any specific action on my part, as long as the UK was part of the EU and France was part of the EU...we were EU citizens together. I tried to explain to Jean how I felt. Turns out, I didn't have to. She told me that she was having trouble too, and hadn't yet applied for her health insurance here.

 

 

 

I miss Jean.

 

Happy Friday!

 

I've Finally Begun

 

There is so much to love about here. I have often said that it is just this spot that I fell in love with. It just happens to be in France. It had always been easy to be here with my dual citizenship, American/British. I often teased Mom and Dad that the best thing they ever did for me was to have me in the UK when Dad was in the American Airforce. Mom flew over from St Louis, they got married, and I was born there in 1954. I was only 6 months old when we returned to the states. Ah, the stories!

 

Enter BREXIT. I never expected to have to go back and regroup for myself in order to be here. Fortunately, from the moment Dali, Sammie Cat, and I became "full-time" French Girls, I've kept up with paperwork, regulations, and all the odds and ends. So many people have been so wonderful over all these years, with advice and often very concrete help.

 

 

That didn't keep me from going nutsy about stuff sometimes. Id be a liar if I didn't tell you that I've been worried on and off. Of course, the virus added a whole new layer to the worry mix.

Even so, today I finally made my application on line for my No Deal BREXIT Residency Permit in France. It feels good. Now, I'm another step closer.

So much has changed so fast in 2020. It's good to be in my centering and settling place.

 

 

 

Happy Wednesday!

 

Hibernation

 

Until last night, I had been sleeping upstairs in my bed very comfortably. Recently, coming downstairs in the mornings the fire would be out and very difficult to restart. All day yesterday I was remembering all the years that I slept on the first floor through all seasons. After the 2017 fire, that all changed. I already knew I could sleep comfortably on the sofa. I have done that many times in the past. Then the question was, what bedding would I need and would I have enough to be comfortable and warm enough?

 

Down came my Je T'aime Paris comforter and the two pillows I use, to be paired with a huge burgundy thermal blanket that by itself would keep me toasty.

 

 

What a good decision!

Sometimes just one change can carry you back, carry you forward, and even keep you more in the moment. I was on the second book of a trilogy I was reading and finished it before I went to sleep. I slept like a toasty baby. Everything was warm. When I woke up this morning the fire was still going nicely. I got my coffee and cookies, and decided to start #3. I finished #3 just a little bit ago.

Being here felt so good.

 

 

 

The sofa, the covers, checking the fire and adding wood as necessary; all made for a settled ease that I don't always feel upstairs. I enjoyed feeling it again this morning, and giving myself permission to stay cozied up and read my book. 

I love watching the fire in the poele. It was an added treat to see the Christmas Tree reflected there. So much love, spirit, and memories to stir in this place of my heart!

 

Happy Tuesday!

 

Maybe Back...Maybe Not!

 

 

Looking for inspiration here, I stumbled on this photo of the barn from last year when the roof was finished and she was looking truly beautiful. Maybe I should say, MORE beautiful than she already was. It's an amazing feeling to realize that you were able to save a structure and maintain a piece of history. It may have taken me almost 10 years, but WE are beautiful and ready for whatever more is to come.

What exactly that might be is hard to say. With the shape of the world these days, there is so much uncertainty. Sometimes it feels like everything is new...everything is a first. I think I should say a first and a last, because it often feels like nothing will be coming back around.

 

 

It is very difficult for me to watch the states crumble before my eyes. It's as if it has become a third world country where democracy and health issues are concerned. It brings tears to my eyes. If only it took a new roof to put the states back together. 

Last year, I was getting ready to return to the states for the holidays with very specific plans to spend Christmas with my Dad. I got there by the hardest with train strikes and travel stoppages all over France, but I made it. I then made it to St. Louis to find Dad very sick.

We lost him on January 1, 2020. That's how this year started. So much has happened since then.

The jury is still out on democracy and the virus in the states.

 

I am here.

 

I look out the window at my barn and feel this life that I have made for myself here. As grateful as I am to be here, is as sad as I am to have lost so much. I know that I am not alone.