Looking for inspiration here, I stumbled on this photo of the barn from last year when the roof was finished and she was looking truly beautiful. Maybe I should say, MORE beautiful than she already was. It's an amazing feeling to realize that you were able to save a structure and maintain a piece of history. It may have taken me almost 10 years, but WE are beautiful and ready for whatever more is to come.
What exactly that might be is hard to say. With the shape of the world these days, there is so much uncertainty. Sometimes it feels like everything is new...everything is a first. I think I should say a first and a last, because it often feels like nothing will be coming back around.
It is very difficult for me to watch the states crumble before my eyes. It's as if it has become a third world country where democracy and health issues are concerned. It brings tears to my eyes. If only it took a new roof to put the states back together.
Last year, I was getting ready to return to the states for the holidays with very specific plans to spend Christmas with my Dad. I got there by the hardest with train strikes and travel stoppages all over France, but I made it. I then made it to St. Louis to find Dad very sick.
We lost him on January 1, 2020. That's how this year started. So much has happened since then.
The jury is still out on democracy and the virus in the states.
I am here.
I look out the window at my barn and feel this life that I have made for myself here. As grateful as I am to be here, is as sad as I am to have lost so much. I know that I am not alone.
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