Soar-Dream-France

Decisions

 

When I first came back to the Chatette and Cadrieu during March of 2018 after Christmas of 2017; I was still living in the apartment in Cajarc while the repairs were being made after the November fire.

I would ride my bike back to the house and wander around to see what was what.

Was there anything I could do?

It was projected that I could be back "home" at the end of April, probably at least a month away.

 

 

There was so much...so many feelings, so much to decide, so much to miss...of which, Sam was the biggest.

 

 

My piano was important to me. It was under plastic. I had been told by one person it was "dead" and another who came from Cahors wanted 10,000 euros to repair it for me. While I was in the states, I connected with Philippe Jolly who told me we should be able to do something together once I  got back and they were in the valley as well. My Monsieur was his baby too.

I told Eric what I was up to.

 

Eric was Eric. I told him how sad my Monsieur Winkelmann was, as were most things. I told him that we were "empty," except for me and my Monsieur. I'd already sat on the front stoop with my empty house behind me and felt that even as is; it was enough for me.

Eric said: "all you really need is your piano, a chair, a coffee pot and a place to sleep."

We were off!

 

 

In that "so much," I'd decided that : the windows were works of art bare; I had my Monsieur and didn't need a stereo system; the walls and the stone were works of art on their own; and, that I didn't want to clutter us up. 

 

 

After Katrina, I remember riding in the car with my friend Barbara.

We were on our way to the Napoleon House because it had opened. I got the first post-Katrina Reuben Sandwich they sold.

 

I told Barbara: "you could look me in the eye and tell me that I was missing a leg, and I would look back at you and say: oh really, that's nice. I'll think about it another time!

 

I recently realized when I was reading about grief, that the best thing that you can do for the people you love who are grieving is to just do something nice for them on your own initiative. Don't ask. Grief is not made for decision making. Asking our friends what we can do for them, or telling them to let us know, is one more thing that they probably just can't think about.

A huge light went off for me.

 

Lately, I've made some big (or maybe just different) decisions. As I've been: buying my new stereo system; picking out some "replacement and new" CDs; and, choosing special curtains for all of the windows in the house; I was asking myself why now?

 

At that time, it was easier to decide to do nothing...I didn't need a new stereo. I didn't need new curtains on the windows. I didn't need to replace all my CDs that went up in smoke. Call it triaging. Call it self preservation. I just couldn't think about it at the time. 

It's almost six years later.

 

 

 

 

Apparently, we're ready now.

 

 

Into the "New Book" While Respecting the Past

 

As the elements of this changing life of mine evolve into the "opening" of my new book here; I am not throwing the baby out with the bath water.

From 2008 through 2012 and again in 2017, I hosted an evening apero vernissage for the village.

 

 

It showcased our village artists, beginning in the wine cave in 2008.

In May of 2010 I bought the barn and I began using the barn too.

Since the fire in November of 2017, I haven't had the energy, emotional strength, or initiative to continue post fire.

Then, we had COVID life.

 

Now that I am here all the time, I want to begin to take the steps to get back to having this event again. 

 

 

There is much to be done.

The cave still holds furniture and other remnants of the fire that I need to face, and the outside terrace to the door has a buddleia jungle that has to be attacked and tamed.

The terrace itself will have to be re-excavated.

 

 

 

Then, the barn needs attention too. Since she got her new roof in 2019, I needed to get inside and clean up all of the tile pieces that fell, re-varnish the manger and the doors, blow and clean the stone floors, and continue on with that excavation project too. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As much as I love to blog...while this process in unfolding; I am guessing there may be even less blogging that my already reduced amount these days.

 

 

So, I hope you will enjoy these photos from 2012 and a bit in between-wow, 10 years ago now!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a lot to get done.

 

It may be another petit a petit in my life, but hey...this is a whole new book!

 

 

Happy Tuesday!

 

Paying Attention in the Moment

 

There are so many things going on around us in our lives that we miss. Often there are subtle differences in our surroundings, but sometimes they are huge. What makes them huge in my eyes is when you know that there are people around you who never notice things like graceful egrets numbering close to a hundred, swooping back and forth from tree to tree in the Sculpture Garden in City Park.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mine are mostly subtle...

 

 

...my beautiful trees disappearing from the bank as it erodes; the blue heron or kingfisher passing; rainbows, full moons; rising water; and, often art in nature.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My most recent subtle observation was when I looked over the road wall this week and noticed how pretty the water was that was making its way down the channel to the river.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I tend to notice it in its extreme states: totally dry or rushing so loud that I sometimes think it's raining when it's not.

 

 

This week's water level and path were perfect.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I didn't have my camera, but the sunshine was so pretty that I ended up going out later in the day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Small pleasures and joys. This place makes it easy for me to pay attention.

 

 

It's one of the things I'm most grateful for.

 

 

 

Happy Saturday!

 

Unearthing a Natural Sculptured Mural

 

Last week, I was pulled back to the cliff and the stone that calls my name! I wanted to begin an "uncovering" project that reflected some of my first project here and more.

Back in the summer of 2010, this piece of land behind the barn became part of our "we," as I like to say.

In fact, that May of 2010 the barn brought us a few strange, odd, sprinkled parcels of land, that are NOT connected to each other. 

It is "interesant" to say the least!

 

Those filled patches on the other side of the train tracks give you an idea of what I'm talking about here! 

 

 

I've learned some lessons from my earlier uncovering years:

1) decide how high you want to go and start there, otherwise the soil you clean off just keeps dirtying up what you've finished below;

 

 

2) best to pull the vines up from below, because even a gentle tug on high can bring soil, leaves, branches and gravel down on your head and even inside your clothes; and,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3) do not remove any stones or pull anything too forcefully, explore first, or you get may get more than what you bargained for.

 

 

Generally, I chose how high, de-vined and de-leafed, removed the soil from each stone shelf, and then came back with a brush. When everything is finished I will hope for a strong rain...and/or wash it down.

 

 

Yesterday, I actually unearthed an area that was large enough to use as a nice sized seat-a resting spot and photo op place for me.

 

 

This is the perfect ongoing project. It is a petit a petit project. No matter how much I do, I have results that I can see and make me happy. I can work on Sundays when we can't cut grass because of the noise.

The finished product can be enjoyed in an of itself as I sit among the stones, AND...

...from the terrace, you can have views of beautiful patterns, sculptures and textures from the table all the way down to the terrace swing!

 

 

I'm counting on y'all to keep pushing me forward!

 

 

Happy Monday!

 

The Way of the Weather

 

 

I still have to run between the raindrops and bursts of sunshine to accomplish any kind of outside activities these days. Yesterday, I finally did my dodges and got out to the barn to see Didier's inside handiwork! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I had a general idea from his drawings and explanations about what he was going to do to repair and stabilize the big beams that support the loft of the barn. He surprises me every time. They are beautiful and (to me) works of art.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I also managed to have him go up and close the loft doors that blew open with some of these strong winds that accompanied all these storms.

 

And, he got the big ladder up on the barn wall for me!

 

 

It makes me want to get out in the barn and do some digging, cleaning, straightening, and organizing.

I certainly have the will...

...but then there's the weather that just might get in the "way" of the will!

 

Happy Monday!

 

 

 

Medieval Busy

 

I seem to do a lot of looking out to the river from the upstairs guest room. My room has screens on the porte-fenetre and no gorgeous red vine winding its way up, so the guest room is my view of choice. It is also the last room to really come together for us since the fire.

Part of it is that I don't really use this space, so I've ended up using the beds for done laundry and other homeless items.

 

 

 

It also has two huge walls on either side. I wasn't really sure what to do with them, if anything. Then, I found a gorgeous tapestry. Another larger one screamed by name again. It is going to become the tapestry room!

 

 

That last tapestry turned out to be bigger than the first. So big that it wouldn't fit in Jane's car. It's been hanging around at the Deco Troc, but today it came home to me.

It had been a while so I didn't really remember it. It is a little paler that the first. It is very pretty and what I decided is "Medieval Busy," but pastoral in its own way.

First, you have the "fishing" boys!

 

 

 

 

 

Then, you have the Troubador lovers!

And, Courting workers!

 

 

You get to see windmills and castles, but those sweet sheep might actually be my favorites!

 

 

 

Happy Thursday!

 

A Sunday Morning of Fun

 

Sometimes everything comes together to make me smile.

The work on the barn produced this beautiful train track art above. Then of course, there is the barn itself. Seeing the fall colors sneaking in behind the Chatette and the barn have me on notice for more fall!

 

 

An afternoon gave me blues on the Lot that I don't usually get to see...

 

 

...and a baguette and head of lettuce in my bike basket (along with those 3 reclining bottles of milk instead of wine) are screaming France once more.

 

 

 

Happy Sunday!

 

Paris Screamed or...

 

...softly whispered? Yesterday's trip down memory lane smacked me with the range of feelings evoked through my years of Paris photos.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While they tend to be mostly "place" and not "people," there are sometimes special people who appear.

 

 

I began taking Paris photos on my first trip in 1992. It wasn't until I was alone on my own for some extended periods of time in Tour de Faure in fall of 1997, that I began to be more serious about my photography.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tour de Faure and St. Cirq Lapopie spoke to me in whole new ways, that enhanced my "conversations" with Paris too.

 

I was hooked! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It didn't hurt that when I returned to New Orleans that fall; my friends, family and colleagues encouraged me. I began to think about photography as more than just "taking pictures!" 

 

 

 

Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I saw it in a much more creative way and as an avenue for artistic expression.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And so it goes...I feel the flow of my life through my photos! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The saga continues!

 

 

Happy Monday!

 

The Importance of Paris

 

It's Sunday morning in Cadrieu, but Rodin's "Thinker" and I are pondering Paris! Looking back at my photos from my day in Paris in 2014 and just finishing Matisse and Son for the third time, are once more reminding me of the importance of Paris in my life. I'm feeling immersed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paris is one of my big "just ones"-no Paris...no Cadrieu. It's easier to look back to realize once more that if just one thing were different, I wouldn't be where I am (and who I am) today.

 

Paris was on my path. My "just one" Paris was chock full of many other just ones in my life. It's impossible to know when you are in the middle of it.

Then, Paris was France for me. Paris was my dream. I didn't think there was any more of France that I needed. How wrong I was! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cadrieu was my destiny.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And so today, as the sun rises over a beautiful Lotoise morning smack dab on the Lot River...I raise my cup of coffee and I say merci un million fois a Paris et beaucoup de bises!

 

Happy Sunday!

 

Resurrecting Matisses

 

Over the years, there have been books that I loved so much that I read them more than once...sometimes multiple times. Matisse-Father and Son, by John Russell is one of those books. And yes, it's encore time! 

I first read it in New Orleans when I borrowed it from Eric. I fell in love with: the story; the artist (all over again); the father/son relationship and love; and, their lifelong communication through letters. I read it a second time from here in 2014 when I borrowed it from Evelyn. And now 5 years later, I'm at it again.

With each read, I realize that my perceptions are impacted by where I am, what I'm doing, and, how I'm feeling. I seem to learn something new each time, even though I've read it before.

The best part for me is their letters. It also appears that father and son communicated with each other more comfortably in writing than face to face, especially on difficult issues. I often mourn the loss of letter writing these days.

It's a soft, sweet, raining day here in Cadrieu today. I celebrate the joy of reading a book I love at least one more time and that love and connection of letter writing. Give them a try sometime.

Happy Rainy Tuesday!