Soar-Dream-France

Snail Lessons Learned

 

I've known ever since I bought the Chatette more than 20 years ago now, that I would have to do something about what I came to call the "addition." The addition had been separating from the Chatette even before I bought it.

 

It always looked to me like it had been slapped onto the house and didn't really fit.

 

 

Back in the early days of here, it was on my list of things that needed to be done, but was not at the top of the list. That was the list that began in 2002 and was thrown to the wind when Hurricane Katrina hit in 2005. The former friend/contractor who was working for me here, was also working on Columbus Street after the storm.

 

 

To make a very long story short, he walked off the job in New Orleans in 2007. 

 

 

Every time I looked at the addition, I was reminded of being left high and dry, friendship betrayal, and almost financial ruin.

It hurt too much.

The projected plans for the addition were set aside.

Since then, I avoided dealing with the addition at all. I used it for storage only.

 

 

 

 

 

In the meantime, it separated more and the roof was beginning to cave in.

By the end of 2019, it was serious. It had separated further, the roof caved in more and the floor was destablized.

It was dangerous.

 

 

 

You may be wondering what took me so long: my Dad passed; COVID hit; and, Hurricane Ida hit New Orleans. Any money I'd set aside for this from Mom and Dad, had gone to cover roof damage on Columbus Street during Ida and to paint Columbus Street. It took me finally selling Columbus Street during July of 2022, to have enough money to make these decisions and do some other work around here.

 

When the demolition began on Tuesday, I was a little weird.

 

 

It was such a long time in coming.

I knew the barn would be more visible.

But, there was no way to know just how truly "opened up" we would become.

By going back, we were going forward.

I was also letting go of the negative energy that swirled around this brick and mortar.

 

 

I was elated.

I knew we had done just the right thing.

I had paid attention to the communication with "our" place.

When I'm still in the silence, I listen and the stone speaks.

I've learned that even in the most heart wrenching and breaking times, the soul and magic of the centuries of this place never let me down.

 

 

Patience is required.

 

This Melody-Cette Melodie

 

When all my goodies arrived last week, I asked everyone to guess what was the first song I played? I'd given it all a lot of thought. Afterall it has been almost six years with no music here besides me and my Monsieur. So many memories and feelings are tied up in our music. I could go on and on, and I might at some point, but today it's Julien Clerc and This Melody that have center stage. They were my first choice for our new music in our New Book of here...the second twenty years!

 

During 2010, I was in the process of buying the barn. I wrote about the barn here on the blog regularly. I still do today. At the time, it made no money sense, but made all the love, passion, romance and immortal magic sense in the world to me. The barn and this place speak to me.

 

 

One of my friends, Jennifer Borel, sent me the email above and attached this song. It was such a great gift. I loved it so much that I made this collage to include in the "Barn Book," that I'd made for my Mom and Dad. They were never able to make it here in the flesh. Their barn book has since returned to me. They visit in spirit regularly.

 

 

This song makes me happy. It makes me think of all of the life, love and living that I have crammed into this place of my heart. I am loved back. I'd often sing it to the barn. I'll put a YouTube selection for you in the FB post.

 

 

 

We are back.

 

 

 

We are Cette Melodie!

 

Decisions

 

When I first came back to the Chatette and Cadrieu during March of 2018 after Christmas of 2017; I was still living in the apartment in Cajarc while the repairs were being made after the November fire.

I would ride my bike back to the house and wander around to see what was what.

Was there anything I could do?

It was projected that I could be back "home" at the end of April, probably at least a month away.

 

 

There was so much...so many feelings, so much to decide, so much to miss...of which, Sam was the biggest.

 

 

My piano was important to me. It was under plastic. I had been told by one person it was "dead" and another who came from Cahors wanted 10,000 euros to repair it for me. While I was in the states, I connected with Philippe Jolly who told me we should be able to do something together once I  got back and they were in the valley as well. My Monsieur was his baby too.

I told Eric what I was up to.

 

Eric was Eric. I told him how sad my Monsieur Winkelmann was, as were most things. I told him that we were "empty," except for me and my Monsieur. I'd already sat on the front stoop with my empty house behind me and felt that even as is; it was enough for me.

Eric said: "all you really need is your piano, a chair, a coffee pot and a place to sleep."

We were off!

 

 

In that "so much," I'd decided that : the windows were works of art bare; I had my Monsieur and didn't need a stereo system; the walls and the stone were works of art on their own; and, that I didn't want to clutter us up. 

 

 

After Katrina, I remember riding in the car with my friend Barbara.

We were on our way to the Napoleon House because it had opened. I got the first post-Katrina Reuben Sandwich they sold.

 

I told Barbara: "you could look me in the eye and tell me that I was missing a leg, and I would look back at you and say: oh really, that's nice. I'll think about it another time!

 

I recently realized when I was reading about grief, that the best thing that you can do for the people you love who are grieving is to just do something nice for them on your own initiative. Don't ask. Grief is not made for decision making. Asking our friends what we can do for them, or telling them to let us know, is one more thing that they probably just can't think about.

A huge light went off for me.

 

Lately, I've made some big (or maybe just different) decisions. As I've been: buying my new stereo system; picking out some "replacement and new" CDs; and, choosing special curtains for all of the windows in the house; I was asking myself why now?

 

At that time, it was easier to decide to do nothing...I didn't need a new stereo. I didn't need new curtains on the windows. I didn't need to replace all my CDs that went up in smoke. Call it triaging. Call it self preservation. I just couldn't think about it at the time. 

It's almost six years later.

 

 

 

 

Apparently, we're ready now.

 

 

A Blog Test

 

I have been having a horrible time getting my photos into my blog posts lately, so this is a test. These shots from the inside of the tunnel are just so pretty. 

I don't really need any additional barriers to blogging these days. With so much change in my life, it seems that my blogging habits and desires have changed too. So, it appears that there is still some problem with editing and getting them in the body of the text. We shall see.

Happy Tuesday!

 

Fanning Inspiration and Gratification

 

Ever since I arrived back in Cadrieu in August of 2020 during the pandemic, I wanted to get out and do more with the barn.

To be honest, I just couldn't face it.

I knew there was work to be done on the inside, but it felt huger than it was.

I found that everything felt huger than it was during the pandemic, and sometimes still does.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Needless to say, Christmas 2020 passed with no lights on the barn.

 

 

 

Christmas 2021 passed with no lights on the barn.

 

I really wanted lights this year for Christmas...or sooner if I could find a way to pull it off.

2022 has been a big year, with so much to be grateful for.

 

 

 

When I arrived back from the states the last day of April, 2022; I told myself that I needed a different strategy this year.

I talked to Nadege and had my list of projects that I could offer to the twins. They got my lower terrace started for me by clearing that portion of the buddleia and carried the remnants of the wood up to the terrace. Sunday was remove the broken tiles, store, and clean the stone floor in the barn day.

 

 

Step One...the barn is on its way. 

 

 

HUGE MERCI A GABRIEL ET ABIGAIL!

 

 

 

Happy Thursday!

 

 

The photo of the wine glass on the stone with the Chateau reflection and this last shot were taken during 2010  when we were just getting to know each other. All the rest were taken this week, as I surveyed and pondered what I wanted to do next. I shall keep you posted! I should add that I think that opening shot was left in 3D by accident when I was playing around with the Frenchie Smart Phone. Still learning!

Into the "New Book" While Respecting the Past

 

As the elements of this changing life of mine evolve into the "opening" of my new book here; I am not throwing the baby out with the bath water.

From 2008 through 2012 and again in 2017, I hosted an evening apero vernissage for the village.

 

 

It showcased our village artists, beginning in the wine cave in 2008.

In May of 2010 I bought the barn and I began using the barn too.

Since the fire in November of 2017, I haven't had the energy, emotional strength, or initiative to continue post fire.

Then, we had COVID life.

 

Now that I am here all the time, I want to begin to take the steps to get back to having this event again. 

 

 

There is much to be done.

The cave still holds furniture and other remnants of the fire that I need to face, and the outside terrace to the door has a buddleia jungle that has to be attacked and tamed.

The terrace itself will have to be re-excavated.

 

 

 

Then, the barn needs attention too. Since she got her new roof in 2019, I needed to get inside and clean up all of the tile pieces that fell, re-varnish the manger and the doors, blow and clean the stone floors, and continue on with that excavation project too. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As much as I love to blog...while this process in unfolding; I am guessing there may be even less blogging that my already reduced amount these days.

 

 

So, I hope you will enjoy these photos from 2012 and a bit in between-wow, 10 years ago now!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a lot to get done.

 

It may be another petit a petit in my life, but hey...this is a whole new book!

 

 

Happy Tuesday!

 

Searching for Comfort

 

While I'd been out to start cutting grass in front of the barn a while back; rain, scorching temps, and the on and off lethargy of sadness was settling in from time to time. As one of my friends put it, "you are in a time of huge transition."

All of which is true, but yesterday's overturn of Roe v. Wade knocked me off my feet. Too many disasters, pandemics, and white supremacist threats of aggression; have distracted too many from the many many other issues that have been rolling around.

 

 

Roe is one. We have known. We have seen. We have heard what people have promised to do, and now have delivered. While the House has passed a bill to codify Roe, the Senate has let it languish.

Its hard NOT to think we have fallen down on the job.

 

 

As a rabidly, pro-choice feminist; I have talked the talk and walked the walk for at least 46 years of my life.

I was graduating from high school when Roe was passed. During 1978 after receiving my MSW from Tulane, I was one of those who ushered women into the Hope Clinic for Women in Granite City, Illinois.

Our patients had to walk past a priest playing tapes of screaming babies.

He was not alone.

 

 

 

He was accompanied by a pack of women holding up posters of bloody fetuses while they juggled their own baby(ies) in their arms, on their hips, or in a baby carriage. 

No one should have to face that alone.

 

 

Shortly after I returned to New Orleans to work, I learned that our clinic Doctor had been kidnapped by a rabid, radical, pro-life group who I believe were called "Operation Rescue!" I was devastated. 

 

 

Yesterday, I heard from friends and family from all over the world. We cried. We commiserated. We remembered. This is only the beginning. I don't have the energy to go there at the moment. I am despondent and heart-broken that our country has arrived at this place. This is one of many layers of dismantling of many hard fought and hard won battles for so many. Too many I love are rolling over in their graves today, including our Mom and Dad.

 

So, I cut grass. I took pictures. I explored the floor of my barn again, that appears to have more gorgeous stone than I had even realized when I first started digging  and cleaning. There is peace and comfort in my barn, even though it is a time of regrouping and reorganizing to fight these fights again. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Back when I was working in HIV/AIDS, I went to see a client at a residential facility regularly. I would always ask him how he was.

 

 

His response was always the same:

"I'm upright and moving forward."

Honestly, that's exactly how I feel today. We're putting one foot in front of the other, upright, moving forward, and doing the very best we can with the hand that has been dealt.

 

Here's to being upright and moving forward!

 

Fresh Looks

 

Although I've made many returns from the states to here, this one is different. I am different. I feel as if everything is new, exciting and a challenge that can be met.

It may be something I learned in my six weeks stateside: do what you can do, if it doesn't work, find something that does, but above all just keep moving. I manage to NOT feel the crippling feelings of being overwhelmed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

From the terrace, I had seen the lavender iris peeking out from the corner of the dungeon door! After looking at them a million times; I decided to walk up and take some photos.

 

 

I hadn't really wandered up that way since I'd been home.

 

 

Rounding the corner of the turn from Route de la Vallee to Rue du Chateau, the neighbors had a patch of iris and some very pretty white flowering ground cover. As I got closer to the iris, I could see that I may have waited a tad too long.

They were still beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I always enjoy this walk.

 

 

It provides a nice view of the Chatette, the barn, the lavoir and the land.

The village had cut the grass on the land that is now theirs and in a few other spots.

They had been busy.

 

 

I discovered a pruned, weeded and cleared reservoir too.

 

 

All nice surprises.

 

 

New views for my new perspective!

 

 

Happy Thursday!

 

Teasing Winter Wonderland

 

I wasn't fast enough to get out to the front of the house to get any shots before most of the snow left us yesterday. What I did catch made me smile and feel just enough of a bit of a winter wonderland. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have some gorgeous snow photos from here long ago.

 

 

 

Honestly, I don't think we've had a really good snow since then.

But many years, I was away from here working during this time of year...I had my fill of snow.

I'm always grateful that I'm not having to deal with a car in the snow and all that goes with that.

 

Off to trolley some wood.

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Saturday!

 

Happy International Overalls Weekend 2021

 

This year, I've been a tardy girl for International Overalls Weekend.

To be honest, I'm always confused over whether it is the weekend before or after Thanksgiving.

I should know better by now! 

 

 

That opening photo says it all!

It was overalls, wood back in the meter long log days of 2009, cold November, and did an Irish Coffee and Cookies Overalls party here at the Chatette.

It was certainly memorable for me.

 

I found out how much other friends enjoyed it when we were having lunch after the village clean-up!

I do have some great photos and found myself wondering if I could pull another one off.

Maybe next year or the year after...

 

...for now, we're all doing a lot of living on memories.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here's hoping you'll enjoy some of mine to celebrate!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy International Overall Weekend!