Soar-Dream-France

Daddy's Girl Still

 

Being the immensely happy childless cat lady that I am, I often find myself being tremendously grateful that I don't have children (or a partner) when I listen to trials and tribulations of my friends everywhere.

I am a realist. I know that I would not have the life I've had, or have been able to do what I've done, if I'd had one or the other or both.

As fiercely independent as I am; I confess to still being a "Daddy's Girl" at 70. I am proud to be a Daddy's girl by choice. I've often said that my Dad set a very high bar for men in my life. When I watched him write "I love you, guess who?" in the snow to my Mom with his cane, or saw him leave little love notes in the kitchen cabinets for Mom to find; I think you can see that would be a hard act to follow.

 

Even so, Dad always encouraged me. He was the "yes" in my life. All I had to do was hear his voice and I knew I'd be okay.

 

Back in 2009, I had an opportunity to buy the barn, "our girl," behind the Chatette. I'd been loving her a long time. I'd divined her to come, et voila. Only thing was, I was dipping into what little was left of my retirement post Katrina to do it. I wanted to check it out with Mom and Dad. 

We sat around together on one of my stateside visits and talked about the barn. Of course, it wasn't the first time they'd heard about our girl. I didn't have to do a lot of persuading, especially for the great price of 8000 euros.

 

 

I knew the deal was sealed when Dad said: (semi-teasing-semi-serious) "And once you have the barn, everything will be perfect!"

 

 

And, you know the rest of the story.

 

The Barn joins us in wishing Dad the happiest of birthdays in heaven today. There's not a doubt in my mind, that he and Mom are proudly looking down on our girl and all the changes and improvements for us and the village we are a part of. 

 

Happy Birthday, Daddy

 

So Many Lavoir Memories

 

With just finishing up a big birthday at the end of August, I continue to find that I am experiencing time differently.

As I've been watching the unfolding of the new lavoir project here in the village; there is a looking back in the looking forward to what the future may hold here in just this spot.

By the time the work of the moment was finished, I had over 700 photos, videos, and animations.

 

I made a USB key for both Christiane and Xavier.

 

 

Christiane asked me if I had a photo of the lavoir before the archway stone was removed.

That light bulb went off.

I had many, but where?

Truth be told, I have more than 22 years of lavoir photos that portray the lavoir's rich life way before this recent work began.

 

 

 

I had to go back and look. I found photos sprinkled throughout the years, but most fell after the Barn became part of our "we" in 2010. 

 

 

Part of the reason for that was having the barn brought me over to that side of the tracks more often AND, the barn brought along some parcels of land when she came to be with us.

Some of that land was right beside the lavoir.

I was driven to take care of it all the best I could!

It always felt like we belonged together no matter who owned the land.

 

Going back through all those photos took me places I hadn't been in a long time and to feelings I haven't felt in what feels like forever.

 

 

It's time to take a look back with our eyes to the future.

I hope you'll join me.

 

 

Happy Saturday!

 

The Last Time I Saw Columbus Street...

 

 

...I was closing the door to my home of 42+ years that was holding on to my childhood piano for me.

It was the last days of April, 2022.

 

 

 

I'd just spent six weeks in the states closing up Columbus Street so I could get it ready to put on the market to sell.

 

To this day, I still wonder how it happened.

 

 

Today, July 15, 2024, is the two year anniversary of the final act of sale on Columbus Street...July 15, 2022.

It's been a chock full two years, and without a return to the states.

I've been back and forth about a 2025 return, but I'm still not sure.

 

 

 

I've been in the middle of all this thinking, planning, and teasing my way through the shape of our world today.

It hit me that it would be my first return with NO Columbus Street.

It feels a little strange.

Kind of like after Katrina when my sister said to me:

"You don't have a home in America anymore."

Today, it's even truer than it was then.

 

 

But what a home I have!

 

 

As my tarot card reader Otis Biggs used to say: "You've found your place in the sun!"

 

 

It truly is heaven on earth!

 

Resurrecting Memories

When I bought the barn back in 2010, it was a dream come true.

Much like the Chatette, I believed the barn was destined to be part of our "WE!" Those eight years from 2002 to 2010, gave us the time.

 

During all those years of communication and togetherness; I often teased that I was divining the barn to come to us.

And, it did.

 

 

What I didn't know until we got to the notaire, was that the barn also came with some parcels of land. Recently, I donated all of the parcels to the village except for the barn and the land behind it. It was getting to be a lot to take care of and this way, the village had what they needed to continue on with a special lavoir project that is in process.

 

 

It was definitely a win-win in my book.

 

Today, I'm sharing the results of all of the 2010 hard work that I was able to complete on the land behind the barn. It needed to be fully cleared, which I did with the additional result of sculptured and beautiful cliffs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here it is 2024, and I'm back there on the land doing the same again.

 

 

At least I know what I'm looking for this time.

It's a big job.

I'm not sure how far I'll get, but I'm going to just keep working.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The photos explain why.

 

 

Happy Saturday!

 

Snail Lessons Learned

 

I've known ever since I bought the Chatette more than 20 years ago now, that I would have to do something about what I came to call the "addition." The addition had been separating from the Chatette even before I bought it.

 

It always looked to me like it had been slapped onto the house and didn't really fit.

 

 

Back in the early days of here, it was on my list of things that needed to be done, but was not at the top of the list. That was the list that began in 2002 and was thrown to the wind when Hurricane Katrina hit in 2005. The former friend/contractor who was working for me here, was also working on Columbus Street after the storm.

 

 

To make a very long story short, he walked off the job in New Orleans in 2007. 

 

 

Every time I looked at the addition, I was reminded of being left high and dry, friendship betrayal, and almost financial ruin.

It hurt too much.

The projected plans for the addition were set aside.

Since then, I avoided dealing with the addition at all. I used it for storage only.

 

 

 

 

 

In the meantime, it separated more and the roof was beginning to cave in.

By the end of 2019, it was serious. It had separated further, the roof caved in more and the floor was destablized.

It was dangerous.

 

 

 

You may be wondering what took me so long: my Dad passed; COVID hit; and, Hurricane Ida hit New Orleans. Any money I'd set aside for this from Mom and Dad, had gone to cover roof damage on Columbus Street during Ida and to paint Columbus Street. It took me finally selling Columbus Street during July of 2022, to have enough money to make these decisions and do some other work around here.

 

When the demolition began on Tuesday, I was a little weird.

 

 

It was such a long time in coming.

I knew the barn would be more visible.

But, there was no way to know just how truly "opened up" we would become.

By going back, we were going forward.

I was also letting go of the negative energy that swirled around this brick and mortar.

 

 

I was elated.

I knew we had done just the right thing.

I had paid attention to the communication with "our" place.

When I'm still in the silence, I listen and the stone speaks.

I've learned that even in the most heart wrenching and breaking times, the soul and magic of the centuries of this place never let me down.

 

 

Patience is required.

 

This Melody-Cette Melodie

 

When all my goodies arrived last week, I asked everyone to guess what was the first song I played? I'd given it all a lot of thought. Afterall it has been almost six years with no music here besides me and my Monsieur. So many memories and feelings are tied up in our music. I could go on and on, and I might at some point, but today it's Julien Clerc and This Melody that have center stage. They were my first choice for our new music in our New Book of here...the second twenty years!

 

During 2010, I was in the process of buying the barn. I wrote about the barn here on the blog regularly. I still do today. At the time, it made no money sense, but made all the love, passion, romance and immortal magic sense in the world to me. The barn and this place speak to me.

 

 

One of my friends, Jennifer Borel, sent me the email above and attached this song. It was such a great gift. I loved it so much that I made this collage to include in the "Barn Book," that I'd made for my Mom and Dad. They were never able to make it here in the flesh. Their barn book has since returned to me. They visit in spirit regularly.

 

 

This song makes me happy. It makes me think of all of the life, love and living that I have crammed into this place of my heart. I am loved back. I'd often sing it to the barn. I'll put a YouTube selection for you in the FB post.

 

 

 

We are back.

 

 

 

We are Cette Melodie!

 

Decisions

 

When I first came back to the Chatette and Cadrieu during March of 2018 after Christmas of 2017; I was still living in the apartment in Cajarc while the repairs were being made after the November fire.

I would ride my bike back to the house and wander around to see what was what.

Was there anything I could do?

It was projected that I could be back "home" at the end of April, probably at least a month away.

 

 

There was so much...so many feelings, so much to decide, so much to miss...of which, Sam was the biggest.

 

 

My piano was important to me. It was under plastic. I had been told by one person it was "dead" and another who came from Cahors wanted 10,000 euros to repair it for me. While I was in the states, I connected with Philippe Jolly who told me we should be able to do something together once I  got back and they were in the valley as well. My Monsieur was his baby too.

I told Eric what I was up to.

 

Eric was Eric. I told him how sad my Monsieur Winkelmann was, as were most things. I told him that we were "empty," except for me and my Monsieur. I'd already sat on the front stoop with my empty house behind me and felt that even as is; it was enough for me.

Eric said: "all you really need is your piano, a chair, a coffee pot and a place to sleep."

We were off!

 

 

In that "so much," I'd decided that : the windows were works of art bare; I had my Monsieur and didn't need a stereo system; the walls and the stone were works of art on their own; and, that I didn't want to clutter us up. 

 

 

After Katrina, I remember riding in the car with my friend Barbara.

We were on our way to the Napoleon House because it had opened. I got the first post-Katrina Reuben Sandwich they sold.

 

I told Barbara: "you could look me in the eye and tell me that I was missing a leg, and I would look back at you and say: oh really, that's nice. I'll think about it another time!

 

I recently realized when I was reading about grief, that the best thing that you can do for the people you love who are grieving is to just do something nice for them on your own initiative. Don't ask. Grief is not made for decision making. Asking our friends what we can do for them, or telling them to let us know, is one more thing that they probably just can't think about.

A huge light went off for me.

 

Lately, I've made some big (or maybe just different) decisions. As I've been: buying my new stereo system; picking out some "replacement and new" CDs; and, choosing special curtains for all of the windows in the house; I was asking myself why now?

 

At that time, it was easier to decide to do nothing...I didn't need a new stereo. I didn't need new curtains on the windows. I didn't need to replace all my CDs that went up in smoke. Call it triaging. Call it self preservation. I just couldn't think about it at the time. 

It's almost six years later.

 

 

 

 

Apparently, we're ready now.

 

 

A Blog Test

 

I have been having a horrible time getting my photos into my blog posts lately, so this is a test. These shots from the inside of the tunnel are just so pretty. 

I don't really need any additional barriers to blogging these days. With so much change in my life, it seems that my blogging habits and desires have changed too. So, it appears that there is still some problem with editing and getting them in the body of the text. We shall see.

Happy Tuesday!

 

Fanning Inspiration and Gratification

 

Ever since I arrived back in Cadrieu in August of 2020 during the pandemic, I wanted to get out and do more with the barn.

To be honest, I just couldn't face it.

I knew there was work to be done on the inside, but it felt huger than it was.

I found that everything felt huger than it was during the pandemic, and sometimes still does.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Needless to say, Christmas 2020 passed with no lights on the barn.

 

 

 

Christmas 2021 passed with no lights on the barn.

 

I really wanted lights this year for Christmas...or sooner if I could find a way to pull it off.

2022 has been a big year, with so much to be grateful for.

 

 

 

When I arrived back from the states the last day of April, 2022; I told myself that I needed a different strategy this year.

I talked to Nadege and had my list of projects that I could offer to the twins. They got my lower terrace started for me by clearing that portion of the buddleia and carried the remnants of the wood up to the terrace. Sunday was remove the broken tiles, store, and clean the stone floor in the barn day.

 

 

Step One...the barn is on its way. 

 

 

HUGE MERCI A GABRIEL ET ABIGAIL!

 

 

 

Happy Thursday!

 

 

The photo of the wine glass on the stone with the Chateau reflection and this last shot were taken during 2010  when we were just getting to know each other. All the rest were taken this week, as I surveyed and pondered what I wanted to do next. I shall keep you posted! I should add that I think that opening shot was left in 3D by accident when I was playing around with the Frenchie Smart Phone. Still learning!

Into the "New Book" While Respecting the Past

 

As the elements of this changing life of mine evolve into the "opening" of my new book here; I am not throwing the baby out with the bath water.

From 2008 through 2012 and again in 2017, I hosted an evening apero vernissage for the village.

 

 

It showcased our village artists, beginning in the wine cave in 2008.

In May of 2010 I bought the barn and I began using the barn too.

Since the fire in November of 2017, I haven't had the energy, emotional strength, or initiative to continue post fire.

Then, we had COVID life.

 

Now that I am here all the time, I want to begin to take the steps to get back to having this event again. 

 

 

There is much to be done.

The cave still holds furniture and other remnants of the fire that I need to face, and the outside terrace to the door has a buddleia jungle that has to be attacked and tamed.

The terrace itself will have to be re-excavated.

 

 

 

Then, the barn needs attention too. Since she got her new roof in 2019, I needed to get inside and clean up all of the tile pieces that fell, re-varnish the manger and the doors, blow and clean the stone floors, and continue on with that excavation project too. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As much as I love to blog...while this process in unfolding; I am guessing there may be even less blogging that my already reduced amount these days.

 

 

So, I hope you will enjoy these photos from 2012 and a bit in between-wow, 10 years ago now!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a lot to get done.

 

It may be another petit a petit in my life, but hey...this is a whole new book!

 

 

Happy Tuesday!