From my prone perch on the sofa this week, there seemed to be even more time for contemplation and reflection than usual. I wasn't feeling well, so I wasn't beating myself up with all the chores I should have been doing instead of just enjoying the buddleia butterfly view just out my window directly in front of me.
The devastating overturn of Roe v. Wade and it's far reaching implications for all of us as a people weighed heavy on my mind.
Who'd have thunk that within the profound weight and sadness, mother/daughter enlightenment could be found?
Growing up when I did, the advent of Roe v Wade and birth control pills changed my life. I began taking birth control pills during '73, the same year that Roe v. Wade became law.
The oldest of 4 and a girl in college who was living at home, I'd always been a "good girl!"
I got good grades, had nice friends, was involved in lots of school activities, played piano, didn't do drugs and never had any legal problems.
I had never sassed, lied or said no to my parents.
Living at home during all four years of college made the whole birth control thing tricky. I told my Mom I was thinking about the pill, but hadn't made up my mind. I asked her if she wanted to know when I decided, and she said: "If that's what you want to do, I don't want to know about it."
But then, she'd ask regularly if I'd thought anymore about what we'd talked about, and I finally told her I had and I'd been to the OB/GYN doctor and had my prescription.
From that moment on, I was treated as the "bad" girl. I recognized that this was all new for Mom. I recognized how Mom was raised. She raised me similarly.
The message was that the worst thing you could do was to get pregnant when you weren't married. I heard that loud and clear.
But, I was in college and I chose to do the responsible thing. I remember saying something to her at one point: "You don't know what it is to have "bad" kids."
I remember asking myself where was the "reward" for being the "good girl" for all these years?
There is more to this story, but after stepping back this week and taking in the context of the overturn of Roe v. Wade, I was forced to think about just how earth shattering this is to young women today and will be for all women in the future.
It is a whole new world.
What I had never considered, was the fact that the advent of Roe and birth control was just as earth shattering to my Mom.
It was a whole new world too.
She didn't have the tools in that moment to change gears and think about it all differently, even for her own daughter.
I can see it so clearly now.
Honestly, not so clearly until just this moment. I wish I could have looked at my Mom and her reaction to me from the perspective of a shocking change for another woman instead of the reaction from my Mom.
Years later, Mom became an "activist" for many causes. I remember when she became a donor and a letter writer for NARAL-the Abortion Rights Action League. I was proud and pleased, but even then, it wasn't enough for me.
I can see clearly now. I wish I could have seen clearly then.
Now, it's more than enough!
Happy Saturday!