Soar-Dream-France

Never to Have Known This...

 

Journaling on the terrace this morning, my heart and mind drifted to feelings and thoughts of Mike (as they frequently do these days). Sometimes I feel his presence carried in on a breeze or a whisper of the leaves on the trees. Others, it's a butterfly who comes to rest beside me and stays much longer than usual. One morning, it was a big red fox who locked eyes with me until I said hello to him. Maybe I should have said "bonjour!"

 

This morning I was thinking about Mike and (not unlike Mom and Dad) how he was never able to see this place in person while he walked this earth. I have teased, but it's true; many people who I love dearly have never seen this place. At least not until they've crossed over. They do visit me here.

The magic of this place makes it even easier to feel them than usual.

This train took me to, what would it be like in my life, never to have known this place?

 

 

That train had another stop to make. What would my life have been like had I never known Mike?

It reminded me of the early 90's when I began to volunteer with the then NO/AIDS Task Force in New Orleans. There was a particularly difficult stretch where everyone was dying. I wasn't sure if I could take the layers of loss anymore. I thought about quitting. I asked myself if I was willing to not know the people at all?  It was then that I realized, I wouldn't trade knowing all the wonderful people I'd come to know and love for a million dollars. I stayed.

 

 

It's hard for me to answer both questions. First, this place is so much of a part of who I am. I wonder if my friends and family who have been here could answer it any easier for me?

 

 

Secondly, Mike quickly made himself an indispensable part of my life. Although we'd been friends on FB for a while through my friendship with John, I'd never met Mike face to face until the night of our International Overalls Party on Columbus Street that November of 2013. John and Mike brought Glenn and Bill with them.

As everyone was leaving at the end of the evening, Mike said I needed to come over and have dinner at their home "Mahogany Oaks" in Covington.

 

 

 

I explained the no car and Mike didn't miss a beat..."John is here for work every day, he can just pick you up and bring you over with him on his way home."

In no time, I was sleeping over at Mahogany Oaks.

One night with a morning departure turned into two with a full day in between, and sometimes Sammie cat would join us.

Even though there is so much more I could share, let's just say that the invite was the start of something big for all of us!

It still is!

 

With the sale of Columbus and Mike's passing, it's difficult not to feel the holes left behind.

 

 

 

But I can see, those spirits and memories will live on in new and different ways.

 

 

Happy Thursday!

 

The Balancing Act of Here

 

One might think that after being a "we" for a little over twenty years, I would have this drill down pat by now. I'm guessing I make it all look easy, or easier than the reality.

I know I don't like to spend a lot of time moaning about roadblocks, problems, and the concrete boots that sometimes make getting anything done at best, cumbersome, at worst, bordering on impossible! 

Keeping all the plates spinning requires a lot of paying attention. I'm generally pretty good at that and have so far avoided having any plates conk me on the head.

One of the things that caught me off guard, but didn't whack me on the head, was keeping up with my SmartPhone program.

 

 

Prior to leaving for the states in mid-March, I was reminded by my company that the terms of my agreement require me to mostly use my phone in the USA and since I'd been almost totally in France, my data would be terminated. I wasn't completely surprised, but was freaked out. We communicated.

Fortunately, I had 30 days and I was able to hang on to my phone and program until I returned to France from the states.

I knew I needed an alternative, so I began investigating French phones and programs available through Orange.

Fortunately, last week we became Fibre-Optiqued up here at the house, which means stronger and more reliable connectivity!

 

 

This week my neighbor and I went to the Orange Boutique at Leclerc in Villefranche and I was able to get all the pieces in place that I needed. We left with my new Samsung Android and a bag full of goodies. It pays to already be an Orange client.

With the house sold on Columbus Street, my need for communication and paying bills every month in the states is majorly reduced.

Even so, I was out early on my bike to Cajarc this morning to drop a check in the box at La Poste.

 

 

This should be the last check I have to send to the states to cover a last minute crisis. This time, to reattach the "new" blue roof the evening before we were going to final act of sale the following morning.

I still managed to have some fun and make the most of my morning time in Cajarc.

 

 

Communication is still important. As I continue to still sort out some of the final arrangements with banking, euros, dollars, and such...connectivity to the states through email, phone, and texting is still important.

 

While business stuff is reduced, there will always be my personal ties and connections that I treasure and don't want to lose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Staying in touch takes work.

 

 

 

That's work and time I enjoy, especially when I can sit at La Pause with a Perrier Menthe as I write!

 

 

Happy Wednesday!

 

Nice Neat Little Packages

 

I've come to learn that wrapping anything up in nice neat little packages is close to impossible. Life just doesn't seem to work that way these days. Spinning plates, swirling puzzle pieces, dangling dances, and sometimes just plain hovering in place; are the best we can hope for. I do my best to cope during these times of uncertainty and make the best of the often times too much and overwhelming.

Let's face it, having property on two different continents adds to all of the above.

That is all about to change.

 

 

Columbus Street has sold and we will be going to the final Act of Sale on Friday, July 15.

 

 

I honestly consider myself more of a places person than a people person. Places and often inanimate things take on a life of their own. A former boss called me the Metaphor Queen-I'd add the Queen of Personification. Another dear friend observed that I was a "nester." As I wrote this post today, I remembered that when I left Columbus Street on April 28, I said good by to Columbus Street. It was difficult. Forty-two years in a place is a long time. 

 

 

I may have to adjust my places/people observation. This time around it was the people that were the most difficult for me. Mostly, because my dear friends and chosen family, Mike and John are going through a major health crisis. Leaving them after I spent the night that Friday before I headed north on I-55, was heart-wrenching. I spent that Saturday night at the home of our mutual friends, Glenn and Bill. There, the reality became even clearer than when I was at Mahogany Oaks...I said good by to Mike and will probably never see him again on this earth.

There is no way to know what's ahead, but I do know that I am planted here in Cadrieu. I know I can always go back to the states to visit family and friends, but who knows what will happen between now and then, and who may have crossed over before I make it back again for another hello.

I know I will do my best to take it as it comes. I believe that my life is going to settle in to being able to be 200% here in ways that I have never been able to do before. Time will tell. It feels much more like a new book than a new chapter.

 

Happy Saturday today, facing huge change.

 

The Window on the Lot-A Gift for Dorian-#1

 

 

In the midst of the move, there were many special moments. Sitting in the living room on Columbus Street with my friend Dorian; I asked him if there was anything he wanted? He surprised me when he said: "You choose something that makes you think of our friendship!" I ended up giving him a long-vertical angel poster and a professional photo of myself that had been taken eons ago and given to my parents.

 

 

As we talked more. I remembered that the first time I met Dorian was when he came to the opening of my "Window on the Lot" photo exhibit at a friend's coffee shop near the corner of Canal and Carrollton  It was a few years before I purchased the Chatette.

 

Then, the perfect gift hit me.

I could have given him a set of photos and the essay I'd written to accompany them from the night of the exhibit. The only thing was that I had to wait till my return.

So, voila...over some of the next days, I will share the photos and accompanying words with you and as my real "gift" to Dorian from that May we met in the late 90's.

Here's a little tease to get us started:

 

 

WINDOW ON THE LOT-(La Fenetre sur le Lot)

Laury Bourgeois, Fall 1997

 

I used to think I was a city girl. I've always loved Paris. I have seen it in all seasons. I know that there is color there, but the Paris of my heart is a series of Robert Doisneau photographs set to the tune of La Vie en Rose. The lovers were always in love. They always kissed and touched. Life and love survived in a simpler time. My eyes chose to see and my heart chose to feel only the blacks and whites and shades of gray. I was once told you could find your heart in Paris. I did. It led me to my soul-le Lot. When I think of le Lot, I see only color. I can't remember a color so crisp or a life so alive as that which I first saw standing in  front of my window on le Lot. The sky was clear. The air smelled fresh and the sun always shown in my mind's eye.

 

Stand with me in front of my window on le Lot-Happy Friday!

 

A Last Day Magical Moment

 

On my last day on Columbus Street as I'd emptied out everything except the piano, one of my neighbors said he knew someone who would want it. He mentioned Doreen Ketchens. He plays drums for her. I told him I was a huge fan of hers, but the piano was a wreck. Many of the keys sounded like crashing plywood on concrete and the sound board was cracked. Of course, our "Violette" had quite a history and story all her own since she'd been my childhood piano. Some day, I'll share more of our story. 

 

 

 

Even so, Bootsie got Doreen on the phone and handed it off to me.

I told her who I was and that I was a huge fan. I told her about the piano and was honest.

I added: "As much as I would love knowing that my childhood piano was living with you, I can't in good conscience recommend it...

...I know what kind of shape it has been in ever since it sat in water after Hurricane Karina!"

 

 

She appreciated my honesty, and basically said that her husband had admonished her about taking it since she already had one that was in the same shape. We giggled a bit and I knew this was going to be one of the highlights of this trip.

I have this favorite photo above that I scooped when Doreen and the band were on the corner of Royal and St. Peter playing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow!"

I'd stopped to listen.

 

 

I cried. I left my tip. And then, I wandered through Jackson Square over to the Napoleon House where I was meeting a friend from graduate school. When I got home later that day and saw that top shot of her...it was better than anything I could have hoped for.

 

 

What a story of "stuff!" There are so many from this trip that are laden with so much meaning that I may share them with you over time.

 

Happy Tuesday!

 

Processing Through

 

It was Downtown Super Sunday in New Orleans.

Even though I usually catch the Downtown Mardi Gras Indians at Bayou St. John before they really get rolling; I knew that they would be passing by my corner of Broad and Columbus Street too. 

 

 

It was also the last day of the three days of what I've come to call: The Great Columbus Street Give Away! I'd planned to park myself on Columbus Street for those three days. People would know I was there and they could stop by to visit, or come by and grab a few treasures.

 

 

 

 

As a strategy, it worked well. I could keep working at my own pace, stop when people came, or just stop when I'd had enough and needed a little break.

I knew I had a lot of stuff, but really hadn't counted on quite so much paper! 

 

 

 

 

 

As busy as I was, there was very little time to think and feel anything other than whatever was right in front of my face.

 

 

 

 

This particular day, I took a break and wandered out into the backyard with my iced tea, cookies and book and just hung out. It felt good to stop. It felt good to enjoy the brand spanking new paint job on the house and it even felt good as all the memories washed over me.

I had a solitary orchid flower blooming.

 

 

 

Other flowers were beginning. The paint job was perfect and just a bit enticing.

I kept thinking how beautiful we looked, and had a moment of maybe I should just continue to split my time and go back and forth between Columbus Street and Cadrieu. I surprised myself. But, I also realized that it was part of the process I had to go through after the 42 years of "us!" 

I heard the police sirens, drums, and music, and knew the parade wasn't to far away.

 

 

 

I went in to put my stuff down and wander the half a block down to Broad Street to watch a bit and come back home to "continue!" 

Little did I know that when I opened the door, Dorian would be almost to my porch to visit.

His arrival changed the course of that day.

So much stuff. So many stories. So many memories, and so many wonderful shared experiences.

 

 

 

Happy Tuesday!

 

An Orchid Girl?

 

Orchids are not a flower that I often ponder.

Interestingly, my friend Gary gave me an orchid when he came for a visit early on in my time on Columbus Street.

His only instructions were: "Give it to someone you love when you leave!"

Little did I know I was going to have to guard it with my life as it sat upon the piano...

 

...everyone wanted it.

 

 

 

It went to live with Eric and Steward on Dupre Street.

 

 

 

Then, there is a friend near here who is very much into local orchids. The photos Maggie posts are beautiful.

Most of them are wild and way more varieties than I knew existed.

Yesterday when I was out cutting almost thigh high grass in the big yard, I saw whisps of color up closer to the point.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Low and behold, it appeared I had a variety of wild orchids growing at the point in my yard.

Later, camera in hand, I scooped some shots of these "Pyramid Orchids!"

 

 

I googled them and returned to some of Maggie's posts.

There was no doubt that I had Pyramid Orchids growing in my yard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Apparently, they need to have a certain kind of mineral in the soil to bloom...

 

 

 

...AND the butterflies love them too!

I'm beginning to think I was lucky NOT to have cut the jungle grass out there yet, or I may have just roared straight over them!

I cut a couple and then decided to see if I could pull them out by the roots.

Thinking about the soil issue, I'm going to go out later on and see if I can dig a couple up and put them into a pot with their own soil and see what happens!

You never know!

 

 

Actually, I think the solitary guy I posted in the wood on the banner a while back was one too! I shall keep you posted!

 

 

Happy Saturday!

 

Fresh Looks

 

Although I've made many returns from the states to here, this one is different. I am different. I feel as if everything is new, exciting and a challenge that can be met.

It may be something I learned in my six weeks stateside: do what you can do, if it doesn't work, find something that does, but above all just keep moving. I manage to NOT feel the crippling feelings of being overwhelmed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

From the terrace, I had seen the lavender iris peeking out from the corner of the dungeon door! After looking at them a million times; I decided to walk up and take some photos.

 

 

I hadn't really wandered up that way since I'd been home.

 

 

Rounding the corner of the turn from Route de la Vallee to Rue du Chateau, the neighbors had a patch of iris and some very pretty white flowering ground cover. As I got closer to the iris, I could see that I may have waited a tad too long.

They were still beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I always enjoy this walk.

 

 

It provides a nice view of the Chatette, the barn, the lavoir and the land.

The village had cut the grass on the land that is now theirs and in a few other spots.

They had been busy.

 

 

I discovered a pruned, weeded and cleared reservoir too.

 

 

All nice surprises.

 

 

New views for my new perspective!

 

 

Happy Thursday!

 

It's Not a Race

 

There were so many things I had to get done during the stateside time I had on this trip. The house was not the only thing. As I tried to organize and be sure I could get everything done I needed to do, I was reminded that this was not the way I wanted to live my life. This wasn't news. I've known it for a long time. While most of the stateside time I had blinders on so I could keep moving forward and do it all; I realized that many of my friends live this way all the time...scheduling days, squeezing and contorting to get as much done as possible within the time available.

As I watched, I remembered the race all over again. It was a big day when I realized I was racing against myself. I began to make changes. I think they've stuck.

 

Happy Wednesday!

 

 

 

Sometimes You Have To Be There

 

As soon as I arrived on Columbus Street on the night of March 15, I hit the ground running. On top of the house, I had many other chores, tasks, errands, and other what-evers to complete. It was overwhelming, to say the least. Even so, in the few quiet, alone moments there was time for reflections, epiphanies, and tears.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reading from the sofa one day during a "stuff break," I burst into tears in a sad part of my novel. I chided myself, and questioned what was I really crying about? I screamed to no one, maybe just between me and my house: "this  place holds 42 years of my life!" That's a long time, especially by today's standards.

 

 

Then, I got a call from an old friend who lives in Colorado now. We'd worked together at the Sheriff's Office and remained close, even though we don't see much of each other and mostly do birthday cards these days.

She told me that she was sad too.

It wasn't till we spoke, that I realized there were so many others who had experienced "us!"

I remembered how she used to tease me that her husband loved coming to parties at my house because: "it was like a different Fellini movie every time!" 

 

We hosted so much on Columbus Street.

There were: parties, dinners, coffees, brunches, lunches, Jazz Fests, Mardi Gras, funerals for friends, workshops, and on and on. 

The richness of our life together can't be denied or forgotten.

As one of my friends texted recently, it will always be "Laury's House" whenever I drive by.

And remember, Columbus Street gave me the Chatette and Cadrieu!

 

 

As if you can't tell, places are important to me. I believe they live and breathe and we have a relationship and a flow together.

 

 

 

They speak to me.

Happy Saturday!