I have always marveled at the dancing diamonds on the river right in front of the Chatette. Here, it just seems like there is always something moving. Stagnant is rarely felt. As I have been pondering yesterday's quote:
"Beginning seemed more possible than continuing..,"
I found myself dissecting in my mind the differences between "continuing" and "beginning!" I look at my life during the first twenty years of here, and realize how completely different it is now for lots of reasons. During those first twenty years I was building to here.
My sister would often tell people that I had/have built a life for myself in Cadrieu.
As much as that is true and I always knew that this is where I wanted to be; I never committed myself to here completely until now.
Today, except for what's left of my family and friends, very little to nothing is left of that stateside life I lived for all those years.
I know that I, too, am beginning...maybe even beginning again. I have lost so many people I loved during those twenty years that continuing isn't necessary where they're concerned. Actually, we are beginning our connection in many new ways between here and there on the other side.
COVID has changed social structure dramatically; so even here, pace, life, people, and connections are different and sometimes very new.
With travel being such a hassle, I see myself staying planted here with maybe more opportunities for travel within Europe. Without regular returns to the states, I feel like I might enjoy short train trips to some places that are calling my name.
And then the biggie:
selling Columbus Street.
August 1 came and went and I had no monthly stateside bills to pay!
Wow!
And, it is the first time in forever that I don't have to worry about the house being damaged during Hurricane season.
So much freedom! So much relief! I'm not sure if I am going to know how to act.
I am looking forward to enjoying what I have built for myself here and settling in to a new beginning...a new beginning that would not be possible without the loss and letting go!
Happy Wednesday!