Soar-Dream-France

Do You Have a Life?

 

I confess that prior to buying the Chatette in 2002 and coming to live here in 2006; I never really gave much thought to having or not having a life.

I'm sure the requirements for feeling like you have a life are different for each one of us.

 

Returning home to Cadrieu after the 2006 holidays, I do remember that I began consciously building a life for Dali, Sam and I in Cadrieu, France during 2007.Interestingly, every time I make a decision to come to France, others question my behavior and elements of this decision.

 

After Katrina, I had friends who told me I'd abandoned them and abandoned New Orleans and we were no longer friends.

 

As I was trying to decide about staying put in the states or returning home to France as planned during this pandemic, that hurt and horror of those times reared their ugly heads again. Call it deja vu or even PTSD; I was concerned and talked about it with friends and family. Everyone said go. As I told people after Katrina:

I refuse to apologize to anyone for taking care of myself.

 

Someone in my family recently mentioned that a friend wondered how I was, now that I was back in France? At first it seemed like a sweet care and concern, but those old feelings returned. The response of my family member said it all:

"Laury, has a life in France!"

 

It's true.

I am home.

I have a life in Cadrieu.

Happy Saturday!

 

DANGER: Overshadowed, Overlooked or Ignored

 

Fifteen years ago now, Dali and I were in St. Louis. Tom and Adrianne had already evacuated north with Dali, because I was in Cadrieu when Katrina hit. I flew back mid-September. In this shot, Tom and Adrianne were getting ready to head back to New Orleans since their zip code had been cleared to be safe to return to the City. This was October.

This was the first time in my life, at 51 years old, when I personally experienced that our government does NOT care about "all" of us.

Today, it would be "any" of us.

 

 

 

Already then red vs. blue states, and always, the color of your skin; impacted the quality of help you got, if you got any at all. 

I then watched in Ferguson in 2014. The Missouri National Guard was NOT sent to protect Ferguson and Dellwood shops and businesses, but were instead at the County Government Offices in Clayton-with nothing to do there except stand around and be ready to protect all those rich, white people, even though they were needed badly elsewhere!

Ferguson and Dellwood

were burning!

 

 

All of this, while law enforcement vehicles were lined up on Elizabeth Avenue in front of our family home AND low flying choppers were hovering overhead and beaming search lights everywhere!

And, here we are today with a very active hurricane season that has already decimated Lake Charles and now we have Hurricane Sally shooting straight for New Orleans.

There are "climate change fires" all up and down the length of the California coast and now Oregon.

 

Not to mention, the Corona Virus that has been left unchecked by this federal administration to rapidly engulf the United States.

 

 

The University of Washington now projects that we will reach 400,000 deaths by January 1, 2021.

That means between now and then, we will have doubled the number of Americans who have died.

These are individual souls. What about their families? What about their friends? What number would you multiply that 400,000 by-4, 10, 25, or more? 

STOP!-PLEASE!

Wake up!

Pay Attention!

 

 

Think back to all that has happened and ask yourself: 

 

Is the cavalry coming? 

 

Let's face it: we are on our own!

 

Dreaming!

 

 

When I dream, it is usually about this magical place along the Lot.

Sometimes it's about family/friends, pets, lost loves or loved ones who have crossed over.

I particularly enjoy those visits from the other side!

 

 

 

If dreaming about something is a measure of love and importance, then I have a new thing to add to my list.

The other night I actually had a "mask" dream!

I should say that I have many masks, but I do have a favorite.

Believe me, during that 30 plus hour voyage between New Orleans and here...I used every one of them.

 

 

 

Here I was, dreaming about a big party full of people. The people were in black and white, but the masks were in color.

I see this guy who has my favorite mask on. I look at him. He tells me how much he loves it. I'm wondering if he had stolen mine, even though it should have been on my face.

I tried to remember where I'd left my mask in the Chatette.

On the cusp of waking up, I noticed that:

EVERYONE

was wearing my favorite mask! 

 

I'm sure this must mean something.

I woke thinking about how much my masks have become a part of my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How about you?

 

 

Happy Saturday!

 

Where Am I?

 

 

During these strange times, I am often not sure where I am.

Oh, I know I'm physically at the Chatette in Cadrieu, France.

All I have to do is look up the road at this golden tree on my way into Cajarc, and I know fall is on the way, if not here already.

I love this shot.

I took it during October of 2012 as I was closing up the Chatette so Dali, Sam and I could be ready in the morning for Evelyn to drive us to Blagnac, in Toulouse. We were returning to the states. Cadrieu-Toulouse-Atlanta-St. Louis.

 

 

So much has happened since then. Now, I am here on my own. No Dali or Sam. No regular calls to Dad at 7am his time, 2pm mine.

I confess, sometimes I don't know what day it is. Sometimes I'm not sure what season it is.

So much feels so different.

The other day, I was thinking the village fetes should be happening soon! No-they happen in summer. This is fall. I missed them this year because I wasn't here.

 

 

 

Actually, everyone missed them this year because they didn't happen with the virus.

 

 

I have to remind myself to be good to myself sometimes. We are all in uncharted territory with the virus. As we know, sometimes things change from moment to moment. I admit, that it doesn't happen so fast and furiously from over here. I have the luxury of being here and not in the states. So what, if I'm looking forward to fetes that didn't happen and picking up the pieces of eight months gone instead of only the planned three.

 

 

 

I am here, happy, and living la vie en rose, even if we are all coping with the virus and the many restraints and ways it has changed all of our lives.

I can still sit on my fireplace in my overalls!

 

Happy Friday!

 

From Over Here to There

 

Every arrival home is a mystery in terms of my feelings. This return, I'd teased my friends and family that I expected I would collapse into a puddle of tears upon arrival. Fortunately, that didn't happen. What did happen though, was a smack in the face concerning the seriousness of all that is happening in the states these days.

I did not have my head in the sand while I was stateside. I was very aware of the levels of incompetence and the disintegration of our democracy at every turn at the federal level of government.

 

 

 

 

Every day there was another attack on our freedoms from on high. It is heartbreaking and dizzying.

Survival stateside meant that some things must be set aside so you can go on with daily living. In doing so, the profound seriousness and depth of these infractions are buffered. Seeing more clearly sometimes requires stepping out of the situation, and looking back from the outside in.

Looking back from here to there has been horrifying. I knew I needed to try to do everything I could to get back to Cadrieu as soon as possible.

I had concerns that if I didn't leave as soon as I could, I might not be able to get back.

Watching from afar, my decision was sound and I'm grateful that I am able to be here.

 

 

I know I am home.

 

 

Happy Wednesday!

 

HOME

 

There is always so much happiness and gratefulness at being home. This return is particularly profound. When people tell me they are going to Paris and thought they'd make a "day trip" to see me, I have to tell them that while possible...it isn't a very good idea. Do you really want to spend two full days on the train or road to spend a night and then get up and leave again in the morning? Most people don't.

 

As I also say...this place is heaven, but you must really want to come to get here. 

 

 

Hmmm, maybe not unlike that religious heaven many aspire to.

Me, I have my heaven on earth.

And, I believe we do go on beyond this life and continue to live on in the places we've loved.

The trick is...you gotta love them so that they can love you back.

 

Mine do!

 

So, I am home by the hardest.

 

Imagine 31 hours of straight through travel, wearing a mask in the heat except for when you are eating or drinking, airport terminals, airplanes, taxis, train, train stations, and now home to quarantine for 14 days from arrival. This trip had a 5 hour layover at Dallas Fort Worth and  a four hour layover at the Gare d'Austerlitz.

 

 

Add in the additional requirements beyond the mask, those which were required to travel to and enter France.

 

I was fortunate to be able to receive a negative COVID-19 test that was required within the 72 hours prior to travel.

In New Orleans, AA checked the date on my test and my passport and I was good to go.

In Dallas, everyone checked-in at the gate to provide their test results and was given three more forms to complete on the plane. Fortunately for me, I had already completed two similar forms that I had received from the French Consulate in New Orleans.

 

There was a third form required for contact tracing. The French Department of Health was at our plane before the doors opened in Paris to collect those forms as we got off. Without proof of a negative COVID test within the designated time frame you were not allowed on any of the planes.

 

 

It is good to be home.

It is good to be in heaven.

 

 

Happy Tuesday!

 

 

Here or There?

 

I love this photo that Eric took of me on their front porch on Dupre Street. Louie kept us company as we sat more than the required 6 feet apart and continued coffee-ing ourselves to death. I told someone that I'm going to bleed coffee and look like an oreo cookie when this is all over-whenever that is!

This voyage or sojourn as it has become, began with the loss of Dad. Then I swung into having two house guests. Then in early March, it was workshop time on Columbus Street. So much for my plans to return to Cadrieu. I did have a ticket for yesterday that I canceled. 

 

I am here for the duration.

 

I am often asked by friends and neighborhood merchants who have become friends, where would you rather be? It's been an interesting question for me. I am grateful that I am in a place that is comfortable, surrounded by friends, and can do everything I need to do for myself easily because everything I need is close and reachable on my bike...groceries, drug store, bank and post office. 

As much as I would prefer to be at the Chatette in Cadrieu, I realize that it is probably best for me to be here now with this pandemic.

First, I believe that it is easier for me here. Second, I know that if I were in Cadrieu, I would be very worried about my friends and family here in the states.

 

With the absolutely tardy and bizarre response of our federal government to this pandemic, I've said before and I'll say it again: I am very grateful to our Mayor and our Governor who were weeks out in front of almost all others.

 

So, I am here, mostly at home on Columbus Street. I ride my bike. I read books. I play my childhood piano that is dead from Hurricane Katrina. I am doing some writing. I am studying my French. I check in with friends by phone and vice versa. I can see those friends here that I love so much at the requisite distance outside of the house. Y'all know me-I'm a kisser and a hugger...no more, or at least not for now.

 

 

I'm just taking it all a day at a time. I'm grateful for this place, wonderful friends and family, circumstances that make this less stressful than it might be otherwise, and my ability to turn lemons into lemonade. And, especially that Louie Boy!

Love to All!

 

Happy Tuesday!

 

Building a Collection

 

This season I find myself building a collection of Christmas Cookie tins. I didn't really expect to be enjoying this cookie making so much, AND I needed a place to put them.

Oh, I do have plastic containers, but tins are so much more fun. Some I've bought, some were gifts, and some came full of store bought cookies all their own.

The treat there is I get to eat all of those cookies in those tins before they are ready for the cookies of my very own.

 

 

I've told you the pecan ball story already. That batch in the photo above is the result of my "ball surrender!" I made rolls and then cut them into standard, more uniform, round cookies. And then, you see the results of my almond strip efforts. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If I say so myself, they are excellent, very pretty and easy to make. Almond strips were my Mom's favorite Christmas Cookie. She had a special recipe that I believe she got from Nannie. My sister may have THAT recipe, but this recipe is NOT it!

 

 

 

We shall see when I get back to St. Louis, if Kat can produce it for me. Otherwise, I'm still good. I also realize that as much as I can't duplicate the cookies from my childhood, I really can't duplicate those experiences either.

The closest I'm coming is feeling Mom (and sometimes Nannie too) very present all the while I bake. The memories bring them here. Mom sometimes made 25 different Christmas Cookies and she had tins for all of them They were all fun and pretty.

 

 

Some she'd brought back to the states with her from England (kind of like me)!

 

My tins are just as pretty and actually have more of a French flavor! One in particular that was a gift from Jane, made me smile. It's one of the silver tins of sites of France that have chocolate in them during the holidays. This one is Chateau de Chantilly. It looked like all the others I'd seen, until my magic almond strips were laid in on top of tin foil...et voila. Look at those lights and reflections!

 

 

Happy Christmas Cookie and Memory Making!

Happy Sunday!

 

Last One Standing

 

For those of us who are aging and are still fortunate enough to have one or both of our parents still with us, I find that a close relationship can get even closer. Although Mom passed in 2016, Dad is still with us.

I may be in France, but my daily morning conversations (his morning my afternoon) with my Dad in St. Louis have brought us even closer than we were when I was growing up.

We talk about health. We talk about loss. We talk about how much we love each other. We talk about times when Mom visits.

We've also talked about what it feels like to be "the last one standing!"

 

Of course, Dad has experienced it more than I have. 

 

 

Earlier this year when my friend Gaynell passed away, I was walking up the steps thinking about our time together. We became even closer during Hurricane Katrina.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All of Gaynell's dogs were gone.

 

 

 

Sammie Cat and Dali were gone. Vann was gone, and now so was Gaynell. I realized that I was the only one left of these loved ones who gave me so much. I actually said outloud:

 

It's just me.

 

 

It was a strange feeling to feel for the first time. It is something that each and every one of us face as we age. I miss my gang now, but I wouldn't trade a moment that we shared. I'm glad I could talk about it with Dad. It is still a:

 

Happy Friday!

 

Strange Days

 

This morning I opened an old photo file to get a favorite shot of my Dali Dog. Even though she departed in 2013, I feel her presence regularly. As with Sammie Cat, they both visit me and I still miss them so much. 

Low and behold, here were some of my poppy photos too. I'd hoped to share these and others on Monday as our village memorialized the end of WWI and also recognized our village losses in wars since that time.

 

 

As much as I love my life here and enjoy a very sweet and peaceful flow in Cadrieu, the strangeness of the states sneaks in. I'm concerned that it is reaching further into my life here. It's difficult not to pay attention when there is an obvious dismantling of our democracy at the highest levels of the land.

It is incomprehensible to me that the President of the United States is:

 

NOT FOR US!

 

He is only for his own personal gain and doing absolutely everything he can to support Putin.

Maybe we need T-shirts to make it clear to those many Americans who either don't understand or just don't care, This President is:

 

NOT FOR US

FOR HIMSELF

FOR PUTIN

 

Nothing about this is okay with me. All that said, I shall be watching the Impeachment Hearings even from France. Every American must be informed and care about what is happening to our country.

 

I shall step down from my soapbox!