SOAR to Success in SOCIAL WORK

A Best Birthday?

 

 

Birthdays have been hit and miss for us since Mom and Dad moved to asssited living, two years ago February. You see, we've all been spoiled. Mom and Dad have always been high on the love and thoughtfulness quotient. Lately, it's been up to Kat to handle her birthday wishes and the folks' too...an awesome task with everything else that can be going on.

Yesterday was my turn. It was Kat's birthday. I did: a little coordinating between Mom and Dad; got the presents; set up a little get together in Dad's hospital room for all of us; et voila. We could be together with Mom and Dad both to celebrate. It worked.

 

 

At one point I said: "isn't this the best birthday?" Kat looked at me like I was nuts and said: "Having my birthday in the hospital?" I had to laugh. Coming up on the elevator; we'd just talked about how she felt like she lived in the hospital and I said I felt like I'd been living in the car. What I should have said was: "Isn't it nice that we found a way to all be together?" 

And then Mom had written on one of Kat's cards: "The best present is that Dad's getting better." And, that's the truth! We may be looking at a Monday or Tuesday discharge. Happy Sunday!

 

 

 

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...is one thing. It's another to channel our lotoise magic in our lives when we can't be there. The last couple days I've been catching Dad in conversation between in an out snoozes. Sometimes I just watch him. Others, I read. Waiting for him to come back from recovery yesterday, I made two potholders!

 

 

At one point he began to talk to me about Brigadoon. He filled me in on some of the history of the movie and the casting and we even sang a tune or two together. He told me he'd read my "Pen to Paper from France" from cover to cover, and I reminded him how we've talked about the "magic" and the "Brigandoonishness" of just our spot along the Lot.

 

Oh, it doesn't disappear and return every hundred years, but life is so different there for me from stateside; that it's sometimes difficult to believe that it really still exists and is waiting for me to return. Even though I'd be in the middle of our magic over there, getting back here to be able to do what I'm doing with Dad and the rest of my family in just this moment would have been arduous. It wouldn't have been impossible, but arduous...even more arduous than driving 11 hours from New Orleans to St. Louis after teaching a class.

 

So, I'm grateful to be stateside. For now, it's where I'm meant to be. But, a conversation with my Dad, my book, or a scroll through my photos carries us to our special place along the Lot and all the magic that it holds. It works and will keep on working.

 

 

 

 

Humor

 

Prior to my departure from New Orleans earlier this week, we were reviewing defense mechanisms in class. I'd provided a worksheet where my students could match the defense mechanism to an example. Humor was one. Yesterday's trip to spend time with Dad in the hospital reminded me of a perfect example of "humor" that I'd forgotten over the last couple of years.  

We've all been worried about Dad. After he fell two years ago, my sister and I used to tease about "urinal duty".  It had even gotten to the point when we'd take pictures of each other we'd say: "Say, urinal!" It always cracked us up and gave us a silly little lift in the midst of all the change and unknown.

Yesterday, I took it a step further in the humor department. It might be about being more worried at the hopsital. I was back on urinal duty yesterday. Dad is particular and he likes to have two. At one point, I had them both in my hand after cleaning up and I went into over drive...we had a puppet show and talking urinals! Before my brother Jim and I left last night, I made sure that there were two waiting for Dad on the side of the bed. They were actually kind of cute resting on the bed railing. I'm becoming rather fond of them. They have taken on a life of their own and give my siblings and I something to laugh about when we could just as easily be crying. 

Dad will be having another procedure today. The urinals will be staying behind in the hospital room, but I'm sure they'll be waiting for us when we return. Thanks to everyone for caring (and maybe even laughing with us). I'll keep you posted.

A Rough Sunday

 

...or should I say "Ruff"? Louie boy and I were both having a rough Sunday before I left New Orleans. I was sorting out my crazy life and trip and he was begging more than usual. At least I didn't get banished to the backyard! It didn't last for long. Who could resist that face? Missing my guys on Dupre Street! More soon!

 

On the Run...

 

...and on the road again-I'd promised Sam when we left Ferguson after the Christmas holidays that we'd be staying put for a while. I lied. Up until yesterday, I was planning to take her with me. The more I thought about the trip and how hard the drives are on her, I talked to my friend/tenant and John will be keeping an eye on her while I'm gone. Knowing Sam, she'll spend most of her time in just this spot and may even be waiting right there for me when I return. Sam is saved-me, I'm on the road again and may or may not be able to write much while I'm gone. I'll be back when I can.

Bringing People You Love Close...

 

...when they aren't, has always been a challenge for me. You just can't always be everywhere with everyone physically. So, I work hard on the heart and spirit parts. During 5 years of vernissages at the Chatette, Mom and Dad, and Kat and Tom would usually send over a beautiful bouquet of flowers to display on that evening. I'd already wanted to do what I could to have them be a part of it: first, I'd display their photos prominently; and second, I'd often give them a call on the evening of the event.

 

There are however, just some times when there really does have to be a physical presence. Today, I'm very grateful that tomorrow I'm heading to Ferguson from New Orleans and NOT from France so I can be present.

 

Our First Christmas in England

 

I tease Mom and Dad all the time that the best thing they did for me was to have me in England while Dad was in the American Air Force. Dad had come up to St. Louis from New Orleans, to live with his brother Lou and go to school. He and Mom met at Harris Teacher's College. Mom tells how Dad joined the Air Force and didn't even tell her good by when he left. She was heartbroken. But, soon she was getting letters from England and in no time she and Nannie were taking the train to New York where Mom caught her plane over to Dad to get married in 1953. Over the years at 411, I've found love notes from Dad to Mom in the kitchen cabinets and watched him write: "I love you, guess who?" in the snow with his cane. What a wonderful man! 

 

Bikers Beware

 

As most of you know, I have chosen to live my life without a car. This means that I am regularly on my bike, on public transportation, or hitching rides with friends from time to time. Yesterday, I was on my bike passing through the French Quarter on both legs of my round trip to the 5th Circuit to hear the proceedings on Marriage Equality. I am a conscientious bike-rider. I pay attention to the rules, the lanes, the lights, and others who are not doing the same so I can react quickly if I need to.

On two separate occasions yesterday, I was verbally assaulted by drivers and parkers. Having the right of way on Royal Street passing the Monteleone, two men chose to get out of their cab on the street side not the side-walk side. I rang my bell, and rang my bell, to no avail. As I got closer, I passed and went around them hoping no other cars were behind me. One of these two very nicely dressed men screams: "You better learn to pay attention to the cars lady." I screamed back: "No, you need to pay attention to ALL vehicles that have the right of way," 

Then, on the way home. I'm cruising down Chartres near Wilkinson Row when some huge monster SUV gets on my tail. I moved further over to the side near the parked cars and this guy goes to the trouble to roll down his window and yell: "Get yourself a car, lady!" I was speechless. I was angry. I didn't think of a comeback until I was almost all the way home...I should have screamed back: "You have gas for that monster truck because I choose to ride my bike!" Sometimes, I'm a little slow on the uptake.

I got back to Columbus Street feeling attacked and sad. I'm not one for altercations of any kind, verbal or otherwise. In all my years of bike riding here in New Orleans and in the Quarter, I've never had anyone attack me quite so visciously verbally. 

I love riding in the Quarter. Now, I will find myself thinking about whether it's a good idea or not. The Quarter is changing. New Orleans is changing. I'm not always so sure I like what I see. It's time for those of us who live here to pay attention at many levels.

 

 

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This week's high winds and freezing temperatures over an extended period of time have left everything in the yard limp, brown and gooey. I shudder to think of the beautiful trumpet plants that I'd found blooming over on Ponce de Leon last week.

I know there will be more. I'll get to work cutting all of my frozen babies down and back to be ready.

Happy Friday!

 

 

Making Yourself Irresistable

 

Knowing I had a potentially stressful morning ahead of teaching my first class of the semester; I opted to treat myself to the soft, nurturing candle light that helps me center, focus and relax. I do a very good job of riling myself up before I head out on my bike on the days I teach. Biking in helps. Centering light and grafefulness help too.

On the second, I went with Eric to Botanica on Broad Street. At the start of every year, Eric gets a huge orange candle. The color and the candle are supposed to bring friends to you. We chuckled together, but then the man in the shop rubbed some scent on my hand called "Irresistable". He promised me it would have people following me down the street! Me, I stuck with my favorite, St.Therese of Lisieux. Eric promises me that as long as she's holding the roses, it's her...even if it's in Spanish.

I'm ready for a year of focus, centering, low stress, and grafefulness over here on Columbus Street. Hmmm, that just might make me really irresistable!

 

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